Yeah, me and Chris H recorded a 20-track tape in 1991 – him on Flying V, me on Zenta guitar with the top string detuned (to simulate ‘a bass’), and a mate who was into NWA (and thought punk was ‘gay’) playing screwdrivers on a Tupperware box. I was trying to be Crass with even worse lyrics, but Chris was really into Bathory, so every song had a load of atonal manic guitar soloing over the plodding 3-chord bass. He was actually a talented guitarist, so he ditched me to join a proper band, and the ‘drummer’ decided he preferred sniffing marker pens and torturing cats, so that was that.
But years later, I found out we outsold Mancunian artist Adolf Chip-Pan, who once paid to get into the Viz Top 10. He sold one copy of his tape, and we sold two of ours.
Apart from that, some drunken shambolic rehearsals with other people (one attendee was the girl who was in the UK Sunkist TV ad around ’93 or ‘94 – true fact) but my guitar broke so I pretty much retired at 17. Sang a cover of Motorhead's ‘Bomber’ with a (real) punk band on stage at the Samuel Pepys in Hackney around 1999 or 2000, which was a laugh (for me, the crowd mightn't have found it so funny).