Step Brothers is fucking hilarious (wrong thread, heh):
"Barbara Walters, Oprah, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one, go!"
"Dr. Robert Doback: You jagaloons! You're failures! FAILURES!
Brennan Huff: Hey, you're embarrassing yourself, you geriatric fuck!
Nancy Huff: Brennan.
Brennan Huff: Two things: You keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother. She's a saint! And then you sit down and you write Dale and Brennan a check for $10,000. Or I'm gonna shove one of those fake hearing devices so far up your ass you can hear the sound of your small intestine as it produces shit! "
"Dale Doback: I'm just saying, you need to think about your options. I know you two are technically married but that does not mean that they have to live here.
Dr. Robert Doback: Dale, I think it's time for a change. For both of us.
Dale Doback: Dad, we're men. That means a few things - we like to shit with the door open, we talk about pussy, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That's what we do, and now that is all wrecked.
[brief pause]
Dr. Robert Doback: We literally have never done any of those things. "
"Brennan: "Where did he go to medical school?"
Nancy: "He went to Northwestern an Johns Hopkins. Is that good enough for you?"
Brennan: "No, it's not."
Nancy: "Well, Brennan, those are very prestigious schools."
Brennan: "I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins."
Nancy: "You don't know anyone named Johnny Hopkins."
Brennan: "It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering and they were blazing that shit up every day."