bloody miserable
- Thread starter mms
- Start date
swears
preppy-kei
I'd just like to say a very belated "nice one!" to swears. Should have said it a month ago - glad someone posted in this thread again, as it reminded me. That's great stuff, I'm really glad to hear it.
Nope, I feel awful again now. Can't beat those shitty genes. The sad thing is I'm not one of these depressives that are really nihilistic and think life's not worth living. I remember really as a teenager I saw the world as this really beautiful, exciting place and it is... for other people.
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
Well surely it's better to have 'up' patches and 'down' patches than to be stuck in one ever-lasting 'down' patch, isn't it? If you felt better a few months ago then hopefully you can feel better again soon, and maybe for longer. I dunno, I'm talking out of my arse probably, I don't know the first thing about psychology, at least in the clinical sense, and obviously it's easy enough for me to say all this stuff...all I can say is 'best of luck', which sounds lame but is meant in earnest.
woops
is not like other people
Well surely it's better to have 'up' patches and 'down' patches than to be stuck in one ever-lasting 'down' patch, isn't it?
I've been down so long, it looks like up to me!
woops
is not like other people
Yeah, fuck those fake depressives
woops
is not like other people
I suppose the term for this is 'one-downmanship'
grizzleb
Well-known member
Depression and mood comes in phases. I try to alter how I see myself as part of the world with an acceptance that the type of enjoyment I can get out of life is not the same as most people I encounter.
I'm not able to really have a large circle of friends because it doesn't suit me and I can't handle it mentally. I don't enjoy popular culture. I don't enjoy free and easy sex (see above).
But I look out of my window and see a smooth gradient of colour between the two horizons, one a deep blue and the other a creamy greyish green and I'm thankful to be alive; despite the possibility that I'm talentless, I have no skills and no future.
You've got to eke out what little you can from this, try and be a decent person and try to have an attitude that doesn't impinge on what little happiness others can eke out themselves, and maybe try and help them along too. In my experience I don't think most people ride on an endless crest of ultimate and total enjoyment anyway... Everyone tries to enjoy what they can - Prince Harry is a privileged cunt, but how much happier is he than me? We all eat bread and drink water.
I'm pretty drunk btw. Sleep time.
I'm not able to really have a large circle of friends because it doesn't suit me and I can't handle it mentally. I don't enjoy popular culture. I don't enjoy free and easy sex (see above).
But I look out of my window and see a smooth gradient of colour between the two horizons, one a deep blue and the other a creamy greyish green and I'm thankful to be alive; despite the possibility that I'm talentless, I have no skills and no future.
You've got to eke out what little you can from this, try and be a decent person and try to have an attitude that doesn't impinge on what little happiness others can eke out themselves, and maybe try and help them along too. In my experience I don't think most people ride on an endless crest of ultimate and total enjoyment anyway... Everyone tries to enjoy what they can - Prince Harry is a privileged cunt, but how much happier is he than me? We all eat bread and drink water.
I'm pretty drunk btw. Sleep time.
swears
preppy-kei
I just feel like a pathetic, idiotic failure who had loads of great opportunities handed to him on a plate and decided to flush his life down the toilet for no good reason at all. Whenever I feel happy I immediately think "What right does a fuckwit like you have to be happy? You stupid, smug wanker." I've become everything I ever hated as a teenager and waste my life doing things I hate with people I hate. I have a mental image of myself as a severly mentally retarded, drooling fat fuck in an adult nappy and a party hat. That's what my soul looks like. Just this fucking stain on the world.
I'm not gonna post here anymore because it's not a forum to talk about this kind of stuff, but unfortunately it's the only stuff on my mind these days. I've embarrassed myself talking about personal issues here, but sometimes manic depressives have a compulsion to embarrass themselves, screaming in the street, smearing shit on themselves... at least this is just the internet.
Bye.
I'm not gonna post here anymore because it's not a forum to talk about this kind of stuff, but unfortunately it's the only stuff on my mind these days. I've embarrassed myself talking about personal issues here, but sometimes manic depressives have a compulsion to embarrass themselves, screaming in the street, smearing shit on themselves... at least this is just the internet.
Bye.
swears, you're not embarrassing yourself at all. I was recently diagnosed with depression and will start therapy soon. Just being open about that has a positive effect on me, nearly everybody I've talked to about it could tell me a story about depression, sometimes about someone close to them, sometimes themselves. Often people whom I'd never thought of. Of course this doesn't tackle the real problems and if I'm really down it means nothing, but overall it helps me feel less like a pathetic, idiotic failure, a feeling I know all too well. Posting about personal issues like you do is nothing to be ashamed of, nobody laughs at you and there are probably more people who can relate than you think.
baboon2004
Darned cockwombles.
This is the soundest advice ever.
As Dunninger says, two things are especially important:
(i) Being open about how you feel, and not treating it as something to be ashamed of. That has immense power in itself.
(ii) Not buying into the illusion that everyone else is as happy as they look. Lots of people try to cover up really painful things by ignoring them/putting on a smiley face/using irony to avoid ever saying what they mean (huge in british culture at least), but don't imagine that this makes those things go away.
I'm increasingly coming to the conclusion that low self-esteem is at the root of most problems (not its cause exactly, but the thing that prevents people being able to deal with their problems/those problems seeming insurmountable). You can be the most successful person in the world and still have no self-esteem - it's not a logical thing.
Last edited:
baboon2004
Darned cockwombles.
I can recommend this book without hesitation. Sadly it is packaged like a typical self-help book, which I think is counterproductive (as a lot of people will avoid it due to rightly asserting that most self-help books are ludicrous ill-informed shite), as the author is lucid, wise and does not shrink from the fact that confronting painful things is, well, painful, but that this is not a reason not to do it. It's not sugar-coated, and it systematically debunks lazy, normative thinking on issues of self-esteem. Potentially life-changing, in the best possible sense.
Recommend him and Erich Fromm every single time.
Recommend him and Erich Fromm every single time.
Last edited:
baboon2004
Darned cockwombles.
Whiel I totally agree that depression has genetic roots a lot of the time (I too have cursed this often), I think how you've been taught to think about/deal with it is at least as important. And that's something you can change (albeit slowly and not always with instant success), make no mistake about it.
scottdisco
rip this joint please
that's a brilliant two sentences, right there.
talk it out and work it out swears. always enjoy reading you (& gawping at your tumblr), hope you stick around.
(also quite respect woops' ripostes up-page, tbf.)
Corpsey
bandz ahoy
I'm seriously considering CBT at the moment. In a lot of ways I'm happy enough and I don't really have much reason to complain but I know that I have a lot of negative thought processes that stop me from doing things that I know I really should be doing. My dad suffered serious depression a few years ago and was feeling suicidal and he did CBT and found it extremely helpful in a way that antidepressants weren't. I'm such a lazy/absent minded fucker that I think I need some sort of program/routine/structure to make myself change, I can't rely on myself to remember to sort my life out all the time.
Swears, sometimes I feel completely like you do but it comes and goes. The problem with bleak thoughts from my point of view is that I find them far too easy to indulge myself in. I think I feel more comfortable telling myself I can never change and so on than having to put the effort in to do something about it. And I know that it usually turns out to be so easy to be happier, it can come down to doing something very simple. The hardest part for me is just getting round to taking the first step.
Self-help books can seem so horribly platitudinous but I think there's quite a lot in some of them. Having read a bit about CBT I find that a lot of the 'solutions' it contains are things I've realised myself before on a number of occasions. But I think doing a sort of 'program' of it might help me concentrate more on those solutions and not just forget them and watch endless shit TV smoking spliffs until 6 in the morning. Baboon I'll check out that book.
Swears, sometimes I feel completely like you do but it comes and goes. The problem with bleak thoughts from my point of view is that I find them far too easy to indulge myself in. I think I feel more comfortable telling myself I can never change and so on than having to put the effort in to do something about it. And I know that it usually turns out to be so easy to be happier, it can come down to doing something very simple. The hardest part for me is just getting round to taking the first step.
Self-help books can seem so horribly platitudinous but I think there's quite a lot in some of them. Having read a bit about CBT I find that a lot of the 'solutions' it contains are things I've realised myself before on a number of occasions. But I think doing a sort of 'program' of it might help me concentrate more on those solutions and not just forget them and watch endless shit TV smoking spliffs until 6 in the morning. Baboon I'll check out that book.
baboon2004
Darned cockwombles.
Corpsey, good to hear you're considering it - if I nail my colours to the mast, then I believe in (psycho) therapy over CBT (for various reasons), but if it helped your Dad so much (mine had ECT, widely reviled but in his case a saviour, so I say go with what practically works), then that's absolutely brilliant, and definitely go for it.
I understand your cynicism about self-help books, but it's only because anyone can write them, even if they have next to no experience. In fact, it's a theme heavily explored in the book I recommended - the guy who wrote it is a psychotherapist, and his understanding of common features of how people operate is spot-on....he despairs of lots of self-help seminars he's been to.
I have an ecopy of the book, so PM if you want
I understand your cynicism about self-help books, but it's only because anyone can write them, even if they have next to no experience. In fact, it's a theme heavily explored in the book I recommended - the guy who wrote it is a psychotherapist, and his understanding of common features of how people operate is spot-on....he despairs of lots of self-help seminars he's been to.
I have an ecopy of the book, so PM if you want
mistersloane
heavy heavy monster sound
I can honestly say swears that you're one of the reasons I log into here - I'm not sayin that to counteract anything you've said, that's your stuff, it's just that I never said that to you and I'd hate to think you left before I had the chance. Pvt if you wanna m8.
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
One of my housemates and good friends is capital-d Depressed. He's always been a melancholy soul but he's worse now than I've ever seen him. He only leaves his room for work or food shopping and gets by each day with the bare minimum human of contact possible. We keep trying to get him to come out for something, anything, but he's not interested. I reallty don't know what to do.
Any suggestions? It breaks my heart to see him like this, I mean he looks like death physically too, he barely eats when he's like this. I think it wouldn't be an exaggeration to call it full-blown anorexia. Poor bastard.
Any suggestions? It breaks my heart to see him like this, I mean he looks like death physically too, he barely eats when he's like this. I think it wouldn't be an exaggeration to call it full-blown anorexia. Poor bastard.
Last edited: