something has gotten to a point i feel like i have to say something because i dont want to be so much of a dickhead...... it is almost like the opposite of what i chronicled in this thread
i met this girl one night in wash sq park in mid november.... told her a bunch about bob dylan and we talked of life and stuff and then she gave me her instagram.... i take her to the met the next day and we makeout in central park..... this was while i was pining hard over the girl in this thread so i felt pretty guilty about this all and sent her a long text telling her sorry i came on too strong or whatever and that i cant ever commit to anything with u since i live in another city and all..... she said thats fine we can still hang out..... and so we have been since then and every weekend or so i go up to nyc and we see a movie or something, it hasnt even been that many times even tho we first met in november..... we text too.... tho for some reason ive lost some attraction to her..... maybe since this all started when i was pining for the one girl and the aftermath of that, and i can tell that this girl likes me a lot more than i like her in attraction.... ive shyed away from kissing her at all and hardly hug her even after we part ways after hanging out...... and through text and in person i can tell she likes me more than i like her..... and i am starting to feel like a dickhead..... she has been sending me a lot of bob dylan clips and instagram posts after we saw the movie together and yesterday she sent some and i told her they are from a documentary i had seen a dozen times, and she told me that i am so hard to impress.... which made me feel, ugh..... then i said something along the lines of bob dylan being sweepingly emotionally present to my heart (i can say this crazy unabashed type of shit to this girl because she likes me and eats it up) then she said that she should be sweepingly emotionally present to my heart..... and i was like omg ugh..... i turned my phone off and went to bed and havent talked to her since.... i feel so bad.... like wtf am i supposed to say to that shit????? i know i am being such a dickhead..... i was going to at somepoint see about if she was around to hang out this sunday but like i havent even responded to that text.... and i feel so bad because ive greatly felt the anxiety of waiting a text back and now im not texting someone back.... i feel so bad because this is like the opposite of what i chronicled in this thread about that other girl but I HAVENT EVEN FUCKING SLEPT WITH THIS GIRL and i dont even think i want to or am that sexually attracted to her..... and i told her like 2 months ago i cant commit to someone in a different city but i still feel like a dickhead......... when i got that text last night i wanted to run straight to my laptop and type all this out because i needed the dissensus hard truths but im ffinally getting this all out now..... i dont know what the question is here but i feel fucked