Favorite Spam Mail Headers or Messages


Beast of Burden
These can be quite profound and/or complex. I always check just in case. This is not the best, but it arrived today and made me think (a lot more than most contemporary literature ever does):

Come boldly and see how we fucked - REMEMBER?

Benny B

Well-known member
Whats with all the 'Get RIPPED in 4 weeks!' spam thats going around at the minute? Well embarrassing when I'm using a proxy site at work to check Dissensus and someone looks over your shoulder.


Beast of Burden
Depends on whether you will be RIPPED in 4 weeks or not?

And what do they mean by "RIPPED"?

And why "4 weeks"?

Isn't that, like, a month or something?

Baffling. Scary.


Darned cockwombles.
Great thread!

They've kinda got boring recently, but there was a golden era where spam mail titles were like surreal haikus or something. I also remember a lot of questions like "Is this what some women do to horses?"

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
A small selection from my gmail account's Spam folder:

High love temperament at any age

I'll still love you, come to me, I'm in a hotel!

OLLIE, Learn Massage Therapy!

Energetic boost for your desire! Because all men want their lever to go up!

)I came to your town and there's nothing I do not know, for a walk?

Erase your man troubles.

And that's just from the first page.

I have nonsense spam filler text to thank for blessing my vocabulary with the delightful 'katzenjammer', which literally means 'the yowling of cats' but is also German slang for a really stinking hangover. Great word.


Beast of Burden
I had one a few years ago that read:

Everybody loves someone - even you

I am still unpacking that.

It's true that they're not quite as inventive as the 2003-5 Golden Age when we got spam mail surrealist word montages every day. Word generators, I guess, but they were gorgeous. Such Art just to sell Viagra!

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Yeah, computer programs autogenerating weird dadaist Beat poetry to flog Viagra and porn - it's kind of a masterstroke of postmodernism.

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Exiled Nigerian tycoons who want to make me a multi-millionaire? Not interested.

Stunning Russian models queuing up to suck my cock till I'm bored of it? Yawn.

Then I see:

Find printable dog--food coupons on top brands here...!

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Sensual Power Words

3 Innocent Words That Make
(must be 18+ to click)

Watch Shocking Free Video

This automatically triggers her to crave your manhood...
And she'll completely lose control and be aching to
"have you"
I imagine this to be a bit like 'the Voice' used by the Bene Gesserit sisters in Dune.