bloody miserable

reeltoreel

Well-known member
Don't stop talking to people about it, and try and keep a good handle on the things you can control. I found that was what brought me out of a time when I felt so miserable that nothing really felt good (or bad) anymore.

Things have always been a bit grim, of course. If it's not trans-global paranoia and idiots in the White House (Bush), it's the Domino Theory and idiots in the White House (Nixon). If it's not 40% unemployment in mid-80's New Zealand and Thatcher's Britain, it's AIDS in Africa and chest-thumping in Kashmir in 2007, and so on.

Hard one to figure out, of course. Don't stop trying...
 
re: armed police raids


happened in my street last year too.
i didn't notice until the daily mail rang my doorbell to see if i had anything nasty to say about any local brown people.
 

mistersloane

heavy heavy monster sound
re: armed police raids


happened in my street last year too.
i didn't notice until the daily mail rang my doorbell to see if i had anything nasty to say about any local brown people.
Lol we just had a posh doctor move in downstairs so I told him that the neighbourhood had totally gone downhill since he moved in...
 

john eden

male pale and stale
I've had a filthy cold and so have most people I see on a daily basis. Typical change of the season thing.

But I'm not bad apart from that. I've been spending too much time in the post office, but that's because Woofah has been a runaway success and people keep ordering it.

Plus, we constructed 90% of a shed at the weekend, which is pretty great in my book.

Oh yeah and I managed to play a few records together at the same tempo and all that shit, which is old news to everyone else in the world but I've never really been arsed about it before.

I think breaking patterns is quite a good way of throwing off them blues, and without sounding too pious we could probably all do with spending less time online, me included.
 
I have a jazz afficionado downstairs, he tries not to get angry about my loud techno because i never complain about loud jazz.

about counselling and all that.... i really felt it was a waste of time, a voice inside me was saying "do you think i haven't thought of THAT?" - i felt like my intelligence was being insulted.

this is probably totally wrong for others but for me talking about it is the worst thing to do, just get on with things, be busy, if you go on to your friends about being depressed, even the most caring and sympathetic ones will get tired of you eventually. pretend to have fun and soon you will forget you are pretending.

yes you deserve to be happy,swears, you are not a murderer or anything are you?
don't take antidepressants unless you're really mentally ill, doing dangerous things. if you're just having mood swings and getting depressed (even REALLY depressed) then... newsflash!! that's life, everyone has the same problem, be a man and deal with it (that applies to the ladies too).

i say this with 100% sympathy and empathy, i know all about being depressed, desperate, miserable and mental but you just have to decide not to let it ruin your life.

anyway, like frankie beverley says:
joy and pain are like sunshine and rain

so take the rough and turn it into ruff!
:cool:
 

mistersloane

heavy heavy monster sound
about counselling and all that.... i really felt it was a waste of time, a voice inside me was saying "do you think i haven't thought of THAT?" - i felt like my intelligence was being insulted.
:
I never thought counselling was much cop until a mate of mine ended up getting a high-end business job in New York, getting up at 4.30 in the morning to work until 7 at night when he went to the gym, got home, ate and went to bed. He'd thought moving to New York was going to be the best thing in the world, but after three months he'd literally met no-one, and was horribly miserable. He went to a counsellor, just to talk to them every week about his life, and I really saw the benefit of them then, sometimes there isn't anyone to talk to.
 
well true but he obviously made a wrong decision to work 4:30am until 7pm and should've changed his mind about it IMO
 

reeltoreel

Well-known member
this is probably totally wrong for others but for me talking about it is the worst thing to do
Actually, yeah - banging on and on and on about it to all and sundry probably won't help that much. I was lucky enough to have one or two people I was able to talk to in confidence and at length, and talking to them was the trigger for a fuller recognition of what was going on in my head. Just another way of bringing structure to an inchoate mass of feelings, which was the important thing for me; finding something to hang everything on...

Actually, Swears, coming on here and finding that I wasn't the only person in the world who dug on Scritti Politti was pretty cool! Even in the endlessly networked world we live in, it's still easy to feel alone and it's those small connections that have been keeping me going recently...
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
At the risk of sounding glib I think the main cause for the 'modern malaise' is the belief that there is such a thing. As far as I can make out, depression in the Olden Days (or 'melancholy', as it was called) affected primarily either the super-rich, who could afford everything and therefore valued nothing, or the over-educated and over-academic who sat around stewing over the meaning of life while everyone else was getting on with real life. Not that I'm advocating mindlessly throwing yourself into doing things without examining why you're doing them, of course, but at the same time, I think constantly examining how happy you are is likely to make you less, not more, happy.
 

Eric

Mr Moraigero
Mr Tea advocates forgetting whatever bothers you via activity, which seems like a good prescription for non-unhappiness. I will go ride my bike now.
 

mixed_biscuits

_________________________
There seems to be less and less correlation between my moods and the actual events in my life.
I made a major breakthrough in controlling my moods about two years ago. I realised that my mood is depressed greatly whenever my mind has nothing difficult or novel to get immediately immersed in. Now, I now tote lists of anagrams to unscramble or practise mental arithmetic where I would otherwise have nothing at hand to think about (especially when I'm out and about - walking round town etc). It has to be something pretty high-intensity, or it won't work.

This is also the main reason why I've gone into primary school teaching - hundreds of little tasks to keep the mind whirring.
 

Woebot

Administrator
Staff member
this year i found that "taking control of the situation" was the best way of cracking the blooz. that meant firing an agent and walking out of a production company. both extremely satisfying.

but equally there's a dimension of feeling low that you just have acknowledge isn't to do with anything at all.

also: exercise, diet, sleep. no drink or drugs. you can't knock it.
 

zhao

there are no accidents
At the risk of sounding glib I think the main cause for the 'modern malaise' is the belief that there is such a thing. As far as I can make out, depression in the Olden Days (or 'melancholy', as it was called) affected primarily either the super-rich, who could afford everything and therefore valued nothing, or the over-educated and over-academic who sat around stewing over the meaning of life while everyone else was getting on with real life. Not that I'm advocating mindlessly throwing yourself into doing things without examining why you're doing them, of course, but at the same time, I think constantly examining how happy you are is likely to make you less, not more, happy.
this is certainly a part of the dynamic.

but "modern malaise" also has its roots in changing social conditions since the 20th. you must admit that communal, familial structures have been steadily fragmenting since, in an unprecedented way. you must take into account the experience of mass industrialization from the worker's view. you have to realize that "alone in a crowd" is a new experience for human beings. and finally, this will be a tough one for you T, the effects of our cutting-off from spiritual tradtions leaves a gaping hole in our lives that we have been trying to fill ever since.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
I agree that having something that you can immerse yourself in every now and again that involves no thinking and can take you out of yourself is great fun. I play football once every week and I've often noticed how I can be thinking deeply (or even worrying) about something before the game but when I'm playing, for that forty minutes or however long it is, I am totally caught up in the game. I may be thinking but I'm only thinking about how to win. It's something I've been dimly aware of through my whole life but never consciously realised until recently. It really is like stepping outside of your normal life for a short period although not nearly so dramatic as that sounds. It's strange because when I moved to London I completely stopped doing any sports but I bumped into a guy I used to play with in a pub and reluctantly agreed to join his team. At first I made excuses and avoided a lot of the games because I just didn't fancy running around in the cold but when I did it I suddenly realised how much I enjoyed it and now, three years later, it's pretty much the highlight of my week every week.
But I'm a generally happy kind of person anyway. I guess that's just luck really.
 

Grievous Angel

Beast of Burden
I'm cheerful. I'm more happy than almost anyone I know.

I've had some really bad times in my life, and I know that right now isn't one of them. In fact my life is just totally blessed right now, it's fantastic. There's lots of negative stuff around - my mum's slowly dying, my sister is getting divorced and is now effectively a single parent, my father in law has just had a quintuple bypass. There's loads of hassle around the house build. I don't know when the next bit of paying work is coming. But on the other hand... my mum's had ten years of life she was lucky to have (she had a heart attack in my arms ten years ago while my dad was dying and had an experimental procedure that worked); at least my sister has the child she wanted, and knows the reality of her relationship; and at least we have the chance of building a house.

When it comes down to it, there are people in the world with real problems. That doesn't mean "down" feelings are "wrong", it's just a helpful perspective. Then again I had loads of therapy a while back :).

But best of all... I got an ACE haircut yesterday. My hairstyle strategy has been bothering me for ages and I think I've cracked it. Fantastic!

:D
 

bruno

est malade
mms, travel! it has elevated my spirit. elevated it and brought it crashing down again. i've spent some time in london, bourgogne, potsdam and recently rome, all amazing places. unfortunately i fell madly in (unrequited) love in rome, i have been miserable ever since.
 

STN

sou'wester
I used to be a right miserable devil but decided to force myself to cheer up (I suppose I'm lucky to be able to do this) because if something really dreadful happens to me, I may end up constantly sad for the rest of my life and then I'll feel a right prannock for not having been happy when I had the chance.

I'm still grumpy, but that gives me inordinate pleasure.
 
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