Never going back to the office

[yyaldrin]

I still don't want to. I've got fresh air and natural sunlight in my flat (vs. air-con and strip lighting in a basement-level open plan); I can pop out at any time of day, or call a friend and talk shit, or listen to King Tubby while I'm working, or order stuff and know I'll be in to collect it, or go to Zoom Language School mid-afternoon, or go down the park...and all without missing a work deadline. None of which I can do in the office.

Our place is saying they're planning to reopen in October. Think I'm gonna appeal to my company's interests and say, look, the run-up to Xmas is always busy...if I go down with the 'rona, I'll be out of action for weeks, and it might cause chaos and delays...! BUT...if I stay here, in the warm...well, there's a MUCH reduced chance of me getting bat flu, etc etc, zzzz...

Also, I don't know how I'm going to manage the switch back to unnecessarily paying £168 a month just for the privilege of travelling to an office I don't want to be in (and/or getting bat flu off some dick on the tube who wants to sit on my lap and splutter in my face 'cos Covid's a BBC-funded lie by the you-know-whos) without feeling a sudden violent urge to strangle the entire Transport for London management team ( in a joyful, harmless, non-arrestable way, of course!)

(ETA yeah yeah, I know this is a load of self-indulgent pish to a binman, etc. I just wanna stay a shut-in 'til 2021 at least)

your second family is waiting for you...

 

[version]

Sickening.

 

[yyaldrin]

it really is as if they're laughing in our faces.

 

[luka]

ive never worked in an office im too much of a lad.

 

[yyaldrin]

well, you're missing out on some proper bants then.

 

[version]

Imagine a Dissensus office.

 

[yyaldrin]

i got a coffee mug with the companies logo on it and a stress ball with "be unique, be yourself, be creative" written on it the other week.

 

[luka]

Imagine a Dissensus office.

have you ever worked in an office? i cant imagine it. youd get all stressed out.

 

[yyaldrin]

i imagine version to work in a library. do you version?

 

[martin]

your second family is waiting for you...

It'll be such a lovely reunion after only being able to talk on Teams once a fortnight

 

[martin]

It's kind of amusing they paid big bucks to some PR mob to come up with 'Carrying a handbag' and 'Caffeine-filled air'. Bet the Zoom brainstorming meetings were a hoot.

 

[Mr. Tea]

There's another one about the joy of commuting, although I don't have it to hand.

 

[Mr. Tea]

I'm sure some wag will have done one about the pleasures of WFH already.

"Not shaving for five days. Farting as loudly as possible and then vocally congratulating yourself on it. Opening a beer while still in your dressing gown at 3 pm. Having a wank whenever you feel like it."

 

[line b]

this thread colors the whole board with a tinge of sadness whenever its active. I can barely stand it. Martins post from last Saturday was heartbreaking. Shiels a complete no show

 

[IdleRich]

your second family is waiting for you...

Jesus fucking christ that is the worst thing I've ever seen. Have they no shame?

 

[IdleRich]

Luka we talked about working in an office before. When I worked in the city with a load of nerdy Dutch brainboxes it was horrible, but when I worked in London Underground or Borders it was great. Well obviously it wasn't great but (if I remember rightly) we discussed how it's one of the few places where you meet random people from totally different backgrounds and how, these days, when most don't even acknowledge their neighbours, it's one of the few places where that can happen.

 

[luka]

yeah, its important isnt it. being thrown together and having a shit job as shared ground and bonding experience!

 

[IdleRich]

It is important. But that advert is totally evil... it reverses everything and pretends that the tiny joys that you extract from that situation despite the bullying overlords that try to stop you are somehow the purpose of it. It's almost clever cos those things are undeniable but I think it's such a misfire cos everyone can see that it's not really honest.

 

[luka]

importsant for the young. as a learning experience. not for me.

 

[martin]

Incidentally, accidentally replying-all is a myth. It's more like pretending to accidentally reply-all so everyone can see my witty comment/incisive opinion.