Middle age matesmanship and the pit


Well-known member
well not literally lost his mind. I think there comes a point where you have to deal with whatever negative complexes you got from aging as eventually they come to a breaking point with whatever social world youve constructed for yourself, but theres also no real reward for doing so because you can function just fine in the day to day without trying to 'mature.' so doubling down on said complexes is also an option.


NGL I saw "Dimes Square" the play this week and Christian Lorentzen's portrayal of a has-been older writer trying to mentor wannabe younger writers was... uncanny


Cat Malogen
An old friend is going off the reservation - multiple affairs on the sly which I cannot respect (my Dad was a bit of a womaniser and it was ugly back then too). Increasingly unreliable, ever changing facts about time off, overcompensating by now being the ultimate family man. Within a small circle, it has def raised a few eyebrows

People have to learn from their own errors. You can only say so much without degrading yourself too. Acute stress plays a part but not rinsing your way through various clinicians half your age. Find this aspect slightly gross because his kids aren‘t far below this age cohort and what would they think? Have a feeling a chemical romance may be live too, old intuition kicking in

An intervention is imminent but who needs that? Sometimes it’s entirely reasonable to say “get a fuckin grip” to retain any dignity of boundaries and walk away so they can recalibrate their faltering value system


arent you about 22? is that middle aged now?

That was my first thought too - although that shouldn't detract from a potentially interesting thread that we haven't had before (as far as I know) - which is quite a hard thing to come up with in fact.


im about to have my annual christmas meeting with a particular group of friends and aparently two of them have been whinging behind my back oh he drinks too quickly it always ends up messy bleat bleat bleat
Luke there are 2 rules that the 3 of us agreed on.

1. We all eat a decent meal together.

2. Your not allowed to buy people whiskys unless they agree to it first.they

Sounds like these "friends" are pretty toxic. You need to cut them out of your life or they will drag you down to their level. If you're not careful soon they'll have you drinking sensibly, they may even make you get a job or, worse, a girlfriend.


has there been uptick in marriage among young americans? or is it just a specific subset? Or have americans always married young?
In the UK the new generation is - to much headshaking and disapproval from their elders - going to the pub less, drinking less and taking less drugs. Maybe they are getting married to fill up the time they have on their hands. Just for something to do. It's kinda what I always suspected really - if you don't go out getting wankered for days on end like a normal twenty-something then it's inevitable that you're gonna end up behaving rashly and doing silly things.


i think out of my little 20s group there is only one couple that are still married.

I got a friend who is about ten years older than me, and when I was in my early thirties I went to several weddings - and he said "oh I remember that period when all my friends got married, and now they are all getting divorced".*

I mentioned that guy I play squash with, he's about 30 I guess and his friends are getting married all the time, I mean all the time. You say "Shall we play next Tuesday?" and he says "I can't, got a stag do in Vegas" so you say "how about Friday?" and he says "no I'm in Scotland for a wedding" - at least three a week I'd say. I dunno what it means, other than that people who went to Eton go on ridiculously expensive stag dos.

*I said this already in this thread inevitably enough. Wasn't there some story (or even real life) where someone murdered someone simply to stop them repeating the same anecdotes again and again? I find it very plausible.


Well-known member
both of them jamacians i went to primary school with in the 1980s. no one else has got married or if they did they did it in secret without inviting me.


So... we are faced with a tough choice, grow up and look after ourselves or find some mug to marry who will do it for us.


Well-known member
I know a few guys who hit the marriage lottery, married into money. Not a bad option, but I wouldn’t know.


saw the light
Got married for US immigration purposes, but we were planning on getting one of the straight civil partnerships when they became available (they weren't at the time we needed them and aren't recognized by US immigration anyway).