When you were at school did they used to tell that joke where a load of people (maybe an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman but it doesn't really have to be) are stranded on a desert island by a shipwreck or I suppose they could be lost in any kind of wilderness really after any kind of event (this is not a good joke by the way) and somehow they fall into the clutches of some sort of despotic leader of a tribe or kingdom or whatever. And then the leader of the kingdom or whatever it is gives the group a choice between being killed or being subjected to a mysterious punishment wtih a made up name - call it Punishment X for the purposes of recalling it here. And basically it turns out that Punishment X is in fact being bummed really hard by a black man with a massive knob. So I guess it's a sort of racist and homophobic joke - but the pay-off is that the guy now knows what the punishment is and he says "no way, I would rather die" and so he chooses death... but, in a cruel act of cosmic irony it turns out that it is death by Punishment X so... um so I guess that's supposed to be funny somehow, but not very funny, in fact now I'm not thirteen any more I understand that it wasn't really the purpose of the joke to be funny, it was really just a chance for loudmouth people to kinda mention some racist and homophobic stereotypes in passing... and as I remember it, it would normally be told by a bully type of person anyway and so people wiould certainly not challenge it or anything but would likely sort of politely laugh along even though it wasn't funny. Lookking back on it now, how come we had those jokes? It does almost feel like targeted propaganda but from whom and to what end? I guess it was on telly... anyway, I digress... and i haven't thought of that for years, but now you're asking "how should Corpsey die?" I'm thinking probably by strangling.


Well-known member
Revenge is a dish best served cold, at a time and place of their choosing, when he least expects it. Wandering out of the office for lunch after the weekly staff meeting and bam, out of nowhere.


bandz ahoy

The last thing I see

Benny Bunter

Well-known member

The common supposition is that keelhauling amounted to a sentence of either death by extreme torture, or minimally a physical trauma likely to cause maim. The hull of the ship was usually covered in barnacles and other marine growth, and thus, keelhauling would typically result in serious lacerations, from which the victim could later suffer infection and scarring. If the victim was dragged slowly, their weight might lower them sufficiently to miss the barnacles, but this method would frequently result in their drowning. There was also a risk of head trauma from colliding against the hull or keel, especially if the ship was in motion.