anyone in the states seen one of these "beauties"?

william_kent

william_kent

Well-known member
I got a NASA hoodie and a little plastic capsule with grey matter from the Berlin Wall out of the deal

and I can probably gossip about nuclear waste which is dumped weekly in the Irish Sea at the next great northern dissensus meetup
 
william_kent

william_kent

Well-known member
0bleak said:
Yes, he was in charge of the paperclips.
@william_kent just talks big
Click to expand...

that's probably about the size of it

at his funeral various guys with moustaches came up to me and told me what a great boss he was and how his inventions ( which YOU will never know about ) changed stuff

I had no idea, he was just the guy who threw up a bunch of seafood out of a tour bus window and embarrassed me and my brother as far as I was concerned
 
luka

luka

Well-known member
were your dads top shaggers or were they scrupulously mongamous? or you dont know?
 
william_kent

william_kent

Well-known member
luka said:
were your dads top shaggers or were they scrupulously mongamous? or you dont know?
Click to expand...


when my dad got CANCER he had to fill in a questionnaire which had lifestyle questions -


Q: have you ever had a tattoo?
A: my dad, NO, BUT I WISH I HAD

Q: have you ever injected fun drugs?
A: my dad, NO, BUT I WISH I HAD

Q: have you ever indulged in group sex?
A: my dad, NO, BUT I WISH I HAD

and so on

live your days as if they were your last is my "takeaway" from that sorry affair
 
william_kent

william_kent

Well-known member
I'm not sure if every CIS male has a complicated relationship with their father, but one thing that bound me and my dad, and WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT was that we both narrowly escaped being the victim of a notorious murderer ( obviously different murderers, but still ), my dad was through parental controls ( no, you can't go and be axed in the woods by the local weirdo ) and me through street smarts ( this guy is weird, it may be 3 AM in Kings Cross and fucking cold as fuck but no way am I going back to your "warm flat" )
 
luka

luka

Well-known member
every man has a complicated realtionship with their dad surely? what murderers did you both avoid being murdered by?
 
william_kent

william_kent

Well-known member
luka said:
every man has a complicated realtionship with their dad surely? what murderers did you both avoid being murdered by?
Click to expand...


my dad was " babes in the wood", my dad and aunt weren't allowed to play in the woods that day, but next doors kids were and they died as a result

every time we tend my dad's grave my aunt who was also a lucky escape wanders off and tends to the victims graves

I was a guy who said no to Dennis Nilsen
 
yyaldrin

yyaldrin

in je ogen waait de wind
version said:
Depends what he's doing. Sometimes I'll tell him to fuck off or shut up and that he's being an idiot, sometimes I'll just roll my eyes and change the subject.

Last time I saw him, he was doing his stupid Jamaican accent thing he got from Bo' Selecta! and I told him he should watch it. He might think he's being funny, but he isn't, and one day he might do that sort of thing in the wrong place at the wrong time and someone will be perfectly justified in getting in his face about it.
Click to expand...
your dad is barty🤩
 
william_kent

william_kent

Well-known member
if you want more detail about my lucky escape

I'd been to Stirling ( for reasons ) and I had a stack of dealer mcDope comix from the headshop and I jumped on the overnight train from Glasgow and ended up in a carriage with a couple who were signed to Toyah's ( now Mrs Fripp ) label, ZOO who were supposed to play LIVE in London and the woman was telling me about how she used to hoover up speed ( this was common in the 80s, no big deal ) and go roller skating and the guy just kept skinning up joints of squidgy black ( this was common in the 80s, no big deal ) and we were getting wasted but then the ticket inspector came and we sort of tried to hide the spliff but he noticed and asked "can I have a puff" and then it turned out that he had been on Top of The Pops because he was the former bassist for Cockney rebel and we all got wrecked



Cockney rebel - make me smile

the bassist had put on considerable pounds of weight since his TOTP appearances

but then we arrived in Kings cross at 3 in the morning so I sat on a bench and this creepy guy with a Scottish brogue started trying to chat me up and I basically told him to fuck off

about a year later I saw him on TV, he'd had a plumbing problem where a bunch of human flesh caused some problems with his drains
 
william_kent

william_kent

Well-known member
edit: it was a bit more protracted than I'm making out

it WAS cold in Kings cross station, I WAS shivering, and the serial killer sat beside me and made up some story about waiting for "friends" who were supposed to arrive from a train from Glasgow, the very same train I had decamped from, and then he started bleating on about "OOH, it's cold", "OOH, it's cold isn't it?", "OOH, my flat is warm", "don't you think it's cold? How'd you like to warm up in my flat?", etc, "wouldn't you like to sit in my WARM flat because it is cold here" etc

but the guy could get tae fuck, I know a wrongun
 
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