How modern couples speak

[shakahislop]

Give us some examples Shaka

relationships are looser things now. either party can leave at any time. it's not like it was. the men don't hold the pursestrings. the men can't explode in a rage and that be the conclusion of any disagreement. women can say: you made me feel bad. that is a problem.

 

[sus]

I think we need to get back to how modern couples speak

 

[luka]

it is more balanced though. it's evident. the days of men making the decisions and the women doing the washing are over. at least for the people who talk like this

Maybe. It seems marked by a deep distrust of the self and others.

 

[shakahislop]

Also I don't think that's totally true Shaka, traditionally it's my understanding that there are clearly demarcated zones of authority, e.g. the wife is the head of the domestic household, and that this clear division is a better description of pre-modern arrangements than unilateral domination.

yes you are totally right that it was never exactly as the feminists say that it was. but still. one person was more powerful than the other. especially when it comes to biopower. disciplinary power. social sanction

 

[shakahislop]

it's a set of concepts and a way of speaking. draws something from non-violent communication. if it's approached honestly it's an attempt to do better. it's also an amazing cover for viciousness. like all of these things. it is a form of speaking and those can always be used as weapons - concepts are knives

 

[shakahislop]

one thing i've noticed is these kinds of concepts are also how people talk to their children. am curious to see how this is going to turn out.

 

[luka]

Its completely frigid and inhuman

 

[luka]

And deeply, deeply paranoid

 

[shakahislop]

Maybe. It seems marked by a deep distrust of the self and others.

we are also in a period where language and concepts are turning over at an incredible rate - everyone is living in intense abstraction. a severe dislocation from the Real

 

[luka]

Im not. I feel totally normal.

 

[shakahislop]

frigid inhuman and paranoid are the spirit of the age. coz we have mediated everything through a network of machines. we are bound to become inhuman

 

[shakahislop]

this way of speaking - it doesn't come from nowhere. it's a response

 

[version]

it is more balanced though. it's evident. the days of men making the decisions and the women doing the washing are over. at least for the people who talk like this

There are lots of Guardian articles and stuff like that about women hating having to be the breadwinner and make all the decisions.

 

[sus]

"Ugh I'm SO torn, this affogato went SO viral on tiktok but the line would take ages and it's $17"
"Babe, it's important for your self-care that you treat yourself. I'll wait in line for you"

 

[luka]

this way of speaking - it doesn't come from nowhere. it's a response

I Was assuming it came from the rigidly policed communications of the modern office

 

[sus]

I was at a hippy jade festival over the weekend and they were selling "Divine Goddess Armor," ie sundresses

 

[shiels]

Maybe. It seems marked by a deep distrust of the self and others.

It’s therapy speak enroaching everywhere, adding this dreary extra layer of emotional bureaucracy, relationship diplomacy

 

[sus]

it's a set of concepts and a way of speaking. draws something from non-violent communication. if it's approached honestly it's an attempt to do better. it's also an amazing cover for viciousness. like all of these things. it is a form of speaking and those can always be used as weapons - concepts are knives

"babe, when you won't give me a sloppy blowjob first thing in the morning, it really triggers my fear of rejection"

 

[sufi]

It’s therapy speak enroaching everywhere, adding this dreary extra layer of emotional bureaucracy, relationship diplomacy

look at that adam Curtis show, it's hilarious how inarticulate people used to be

 

[shiels]

I Was assuming it came from the rigidly policed communications of the modern office

It sometimes functions in the same way as business jargon and British politeness does ie dresses itself up as fairness and transparency and kindness to hide the real motive of concealing power dynamics, manipulation