You

[swears]

I can't name him, honestly, I'd feel mean. He's a pretty good DJ himself and was polite enough to talk about music with me for a while, the couple of times I've met him.

You can have fun guessing though.

 

[tht]

I would say I have a hatred of aggressive, pushy, arrogant people, and that doesn't imply I am one myself, because I'm certainly not

this is quite funny, isn't it?

like an edwardian governess replying to the injudicious suggestion that clitoral onanism is common in young girls

sort of

 

[Mr. Tea]

You can have fun guessing though.

 

[swears]

I know a guy who went right up to Noel Fielding and gave him a hug, so Noel kissed him on the cheek, I've heard he's a nice fella.

 

[nomadologist]

I don't think it's terribly 'subjective' to say that people who habitually push into queues are dicks, they just ARE.
Rudeness and discourtesy piss me right off. I'm not saying you have to go out of your way to please others every waking minute, but people who go around like they're the only person on earth that matters shouldn't be surprised that they don't have many friends.

there are all sorts of reasons why someone might try to jump ahead in line. you can do that in a such a way that you'db e considered a "dick" or you can do it in other ways.

i guess it's hard to say. in new york it's considered normal to stand up for your "right" to whatever. i would never jump a line, and i've never really seen anyone do it, because here they would tear you a new asshole if you did.

the boundaries surrounding what's "appropriate" are pretty vigilantly policed in places where there's extremely limited space and time

the thing that pisses me off most are people who are inefficient walkers, who get in other peoples' way because they're not paying attention, etc.

but all of this just sounds like griping over pet peeves...

 

[nomadologist]

I don't think it's terribly 'subjective' to say that people who habitually push into queues are dicks, they just ARE.
Rudeness and discourtesy piss me right off. I'm not saying you have to go out of your way to please others every waking minute, but people who go around like they're the only person on earth that matters shouldn't be surprised that they don't have many friends.

this is quite funny, isn't it?

like an edwardian governess replying to the injudicious suggestion that clitoral onanism is common in young girls

sort of

when someone gets angry at someone else for trespassing the boundaries around what's "polite", it's often because that person wouldn't themselves have the nerve to do the same, and is therefore angry at the injustice they suffer at the hands of someone who does

you could read it that way

 

[tht]

when someone gets angry at someone else for trespassing the boundaries around what's "polite", it's often because that person wouldn't themselves have the nerve to do the same

that's it pretty much, forget the 'injustice'

the lack of insight in that post is frightening

narcissism of small differences also contributes

 

[Mr. Tea]

this is quite funny, isn't it?

like an edwardian governess replying to the injudicious suggestion that clitoral onanism is common in young girls

sort of

What are you jabbering on about?
I'm making a (reasonable) statement about myself on an Internet discussion forum, I'd hardly say that makes me 'pushy' (if that's what you're getting at).

the lack of insight in that post is frightening

Sorry, did I frighten you? How terribly discourteous of me.
Seriously, what are you talking about here?

 

[Mr. Tea]

when someone gets angry at someone else for trespassing the boundaries around what's "polite", it's often because that person wouldn't themselves have the nerve to do the same, and is therefore angry at the injustice they suffer at the hands of someone who does

you could read it that way

That may be how you see it, but that's not what I'm getting at myself.
As I said earlier, it's not that I 'secretly wish I was a rude arsehole because then I could push in front of people in queues' - I'd far rather just wait my turn than have people look at me and think "Who does that rude cunt think he is?", that's all.

Also, why have you put those "" around "polite", as if I'm talking about some hilariously outdated, stuffy old system of arbitrary customs and behavioural taboos? I'm not talking about knowing which knife to use for the fish course or saying 'bathroom' instead of 'toilet', I just mean basic decency and common (or 'common') courtesy, normal everyday un-cuntishness.

 

[nomadologist]

I'd say that I'm rather shy and introspective, and although most of the time pushy people don't get along with me (and vice versa) some of my best friends are quite aggressive and extroverted.

Sure. It's possible. As is the reverse.

 

[nomadologist]

Also, why have you put those "" around "polite", as if I'm talking about some hilariously outdated, stuffy old system of arbitrary customs and behavioural taboos? I'm not talking about knowing which knife to use for the fish course or saying 'bathroom' instead of 'toilet', I just mean basic decency and common (or 'common') courtesy, normal everyday un-cuntishness.

because the entire range and scope of human motivation and desire is not fenced in by normativity in the end

 

[Mr. Tea]

Well I'm sure the entire range and scope of human motivation and desire includes a hell of a lot of unnecessarily selfish behaviour which, if practised by a certain percentage of the population, tends to lead to a society of angry, bad-tempered, alienated people.

I'm not interesed in po-mo everything-is-relative bullshit, I'm claiming that having a certain amount of respect and consideration for one's fellow person is a Good Thing and that I really wouldn't want to know someone who thought otherwise.

 

[nomadologist]

good for you. and?

 

[nomadologist]

btw, the psychoanalytical pov is more what i'd call modernist than post-modern

 

[Mr. Tea]

And, you seem to be disagreeing with my basic thesis here, which is "life is generally better when people are nice to each other". Is that not the case?
You also seem to be hinting that the only reason we don't all act in a selfish way is that we're too much of a pussy to dare, and that the resultant jealousy is the main reason we don't like people who act in that way. Whereas I think that's rubbish; rude, arrogant people are annoying in and of themselves.

 

[nomadologist]

tht, it just gets better. resistance is maybe more fun to watch

 

[nomadologist]

yes, certainly, there are annoying people in the world. i'm more interested in why they are that way than in prescriptive hand wringing.

 

[nomadologist]

You also seem to be hinting that the only reason we don't all act in a selfish way is that we're too much of a pussy to dare, and that the resultant jealousy is the main reason we don't like people who act in that way. Whereas I think that's rubbish; rude, arrogant people are annoying in and of themselves.

that is not at all what i'm "hinting"

 

[Mr. Tea]

when someone gets angry at someone else for trespassing the boundaries around what's "polite", it's often because that person wouldn't themselves have the nerve to do the same, and is therefore angry at the injustice they suffer at the hands of someone who does

Then what do you mean by "wouldn't have the nerve"? That implies wanting to do something but being stopped by some kind of fear or conditioned taboo. I think most reasonable, considerate people don't actually have that desire in the first place, rather than simply being too inhibited to act on it.

 

[nomadologist]

ok. maybe some.

what keeps people from doing things they're not supposed to do, but want to? that's a more interesting question, to me

what's "pleasant" or "good" or "right" or anything is the product of forces that are external to a person, at least in part