crackerjack
Well-known member
HOWEVER in the fourth & fith year one of the P.E. options became Darts and Pool (it was Wigan)
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/theatre/2007/08/shaggy_blog_story_chapter_seve.html
I knew he'd been a teacher, didn't realise it was in Wigan.
mine were all total arseholes — and i was pretty good at sport. the worst thing was that i was at a boarding school, so there was no getting away from them.
one was the son of a prominent 1970s/80s broadcaster (specialised in current affairs, had a speech impediment, on itv, former MP). he was sacked for having an affair with a girl in my year who later got into porn.
one was the son of a prominent 1970s/80s broadcaster (specialised in current affairs, had a speech impediment, on itv, former MP). he was sacked for having an affair with a girl in my year who later got into porn.
crackerjack
Well-known member
New lad (anag)?
john eden
male pale and stale
Great thread - all that shitty pettiness. "You can take that earring out, and keep it in your handbag." Plus turning a blind eye to the violence being meted out by the "golden boys" on the school team to those less fortunate.
The first written rant I ever did was in an English essay about "the benefits of sport" or something - all that saved up bile unleashed on the page with a huge dollop of sarcasm.
brown neon
Member
kids are cunts too tho, the cheeky scamps.
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
Heh, this reminds me of a joke we used to have about how teachers were selected for various subjects: the candidates who fail the interview to become a proper teacher are made PE teachers, and those who fail to turn up to the interview end up teaching 'PSE'/social-and-religious education/whatever it was called in your school.
hucks
Your Message Here
So if you had a PE teacher who ever drove a bus, he must be the biggest cunt ever?
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
I just noticed these two threads next to each other. I'm thinking of starting a thread called 'In praise of cunts', or something.
i was on report at school for some reason and i'd done really well that week,so at the end of what i thought was a really good PE lesson in which i'd applied myself alot and also the last lesson of the week- the pe teacher looked down the list of glowing to ok marks from the rest of the teachers and gave me one that would just take me over into trouble and another week of being on report.
i was well angry and when i had to go the head with the report, i had a whole bunch of people with me who supported me in saying that i hadn't deserved that mark. And i won, the head was impressed at the lobby i'd formed he let me off.
so pe teachers better not try it with me.
i was well angry and when i had to go the head with the report, i had a whole bunch of people with me who supported me in saying that i hadn't deserved that mark. And i won, the head was impressed at the lobby i'd formed he let me off.
so pe teachers better not try it with me.
Dusty
Tone deaf
Had an ex-marine PE teacher who despised kids, really really hated us. Used to swear at the top of his voice in a really violent manner at us "GET OFF THAT FUCKIN' CRICKET FIELD YOU CUNTS" - to 12 year olds. There was the constant threat of surprise swimming lessons (in an outdoor, unheated pool) - if anyone forgot to bring their kit for swimming that day they did it in their pants.
Just wouldn't be allowed these days, hes probably dead or in prison now. At least he didn't have favourites, he hated everyone equally regardless of sporting prowess.
Just wouldn't be allowed these days, hes probably dead or in prison now. At least he didn't have favourites, he hated everyone equally regardless of sporting prowess.
I love this post being presented next to your avatar.
Great thread too, my stepdad was a PE teacher! Luckily he's not a cunt, but he must have been exposed to dozens of them in his time so no wonder he had a bloody breakdown. Two out of the four I had at school were cunts; unfortunately it was one of the non-cunts that got the brunt of it from the kids because he was short, fat and not nearly as threatening as the two cunts. Highlights included a boy famed for having the hardest shot at the school smacking a ball into his face after teach slipped over in the playground, and a little Indian boy belting a volley ball at him mid-way through a dressing down.
There was no PE at the place I did sixth form, but the guy who taught Sports Science and coached the footie team was too close to the kids. Not in a paedo type of way but in a desperate to be young type of way; turning up at house parties and stuff. His favourites used to hang out in his jeep at lunch, and one time after encouraging a pizza eating contest between a few of the team, one of them vommed all over the back seat. That was a laugh.
Gabba Flamenco Crossover
High Sierra Skullfuck
We had a total arsehole teaching PE at our school - he wasnt a paedo, more of an all round sadist, and he lived across the road from a friend of mine who was a bit of a wrong 'un.
So anyway, one night my mate and a few others nicked his hubcaps in a general teenage prank. A few weeks later he (my mate) was driving back from somewhere on some kind of drugs, crashed his car and torched it, and made out it had been nicked to claim insurance.
So this PE teacher comes round to his house and was saying 'I think the people who nicked my hubcaps ware the same people who took your car' all amateur detective. And my mate was nodding at him straight faced going 'Hmmm, maybe you're right, yeah!'. Hilarious.
So anyway, one night my mate and a few others nicked his hubcaps in a general teenage prank. A few weeks later he (my mate) was driving back from somewhere on some kind of drugs, crashed his car and torched it, and made out it had been nicked to claim insurance.
So this PE teacher comes round to his house and was saying 'I think the people who nicked my hubcaps ware the same people who took your car' all amateur detective. And my mate was nodding at him straight faced going 'Hmmm, maybe you're right, yeah!'. Hilarious.
mistersloane
heavy heavy monster sound
ah now that could be a good thread, times you told it like it really was to a teacher.
i almost feel guilty about things i said to some teachers but they did need to hear it.
I did a bit of work with a group who were helping out *wayward* youth for a while, and one of the projects was videoing them telling the teachers exactly what they thought of them, and the teachers had to watch it, it was a fucking brilliant scheme, we had such a fucking laugh. Community action works
bassnation
the abyss
i had a scottish PE teacher, an absolute sadist who has pretty much destroyed any interest or enthusiasm i might have had for sport, the wanker. we used to do these stupid games where we had to line up and the first person would pass the ball under their legs, the next person over their head etc. i couldn't understand the instructions he was bellowing in his thick glaswegian accent and always ended up doing the wrong thing at which point he'd blow his fucking whistle, come over and scream in my face for five minutes. he used to make the fat kids climb up the ropes and encouraged the rest of the class to point at them and laugh. divide and rule was his PE philosphy and he excelled at it. plus he was good at devising tortorous punishments like sitting against the wall as if there was a chair, but there wasn't, for five minutes until your legs felt like they were going to fall off. he split a kids head open with a spring from one of the trampolines. i used to attempt anything to get out of PE, such as recyling sick notes from my mam, or hiding in the showers until everyone had left, or "forgetting" my kit, the latter backfiring spectacularly as then he'd make me wear a pair of skanky shorts with no top, in fucking winter, the cunt, to play rugby. later i perfected the art of truancy.
i saw him a few years back serving behind the counter in a texaco garage. i knew he recognised me and briefly i considered grabbing him by the throat and beating seven shades of shit out of him, but then i thought, i am never going down to his level and i am a bigger man than that. in some ways it brought it all to a close in my mind, being able to see him for what he was - a pathetic unhappy individual. i think being a cunt is punishment enough.
not that i'm bitter, or in any way traumatised, you understand.
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after reading this whole thread, i guess england is different... i swear half of my gym teachers were fairly mellow lesbians... and for some reason the old school sadist dudes either liked me (i was very good at floor hockey) or simply left me alone...
crackerjack
Well-known member
Not that different: we took the lesbianism as read. Not sure about the mellowness.
I once had this borderline psychopathic martial arts teacher who came in to teach my P.E. class self-defence, and I came in late and laughed when he told the class he got syphilis from a librarian so he used me as a helper to demonstrate to the class all fuckin 21 or something pressure points.
Wanker.
Wanker.
bassnation
the abyss
well, i grew up in south wales and i don't think its that different to england. are you a girl by the way peter? (that sounds like some kind of classroom taunt, but its just you talk about having lesbian gym teachers - in my youth female teachers taught females, and vice versa).