The press release hall of shame thread

Sectionfive

Sectionfive

bandwagon house
FAMOUS FOR ADDING COLOUR TO THE CITY, HE IS WELL KNOWN FOR HIS COLOURFUL OLD SCHOOL TRACKSUITS AND SPANDEX AND USED TO RUN A STALL IN THE TRENDY LOFT MARKET. RECENTLY, .... HAS MOVED OUT OF THE CAMERA’S WAY TO WORK AS A STYLSIT AND IS ENJOYING AS MUCH SUCCESS THERE AS HE HAS DJING, ALREADY STYLING FEATURES FOR (..random shitty lifestyle supplement)
 
Z

zhao

there are no accidents
nomos is right, that is a very accurate visual representation of what the music surely is...
 
B

Blackdown

nexKeysound
Dub Police @ FABRICLIVE. Friday 17th December‏

Dub Police are back this week promising the same abundance of clanging beats and deep, dark rollers perfect for those low-centre-of-gravity grooves that dubstep mobs are famous for.

Written by someone who doesnt DJ?
 
G

gumdrops

Well-known member
hmmm that kinda works for what they play though - ie noisy, nasty, filthy, etc etc. and though i dont think well see a night called clangers... bangers, clangers, heaters, etc etc, doesnt seem that far off.
 
nomos

nomos

Administrator
Blackdown said:
Dub Police @ FABRICLIVE. Friday 17th December‏

Dub Police are back this week promising the same abundance of clanging beats and deep, dark rollers perfect for those low-centre-of-gravity grooves that dubstep mobs are famous for.

Written by someone who doesnt DJ?
Click to expand...

"Out to all the crews locked in. I got a big bag of clangers for you lot tonight. Truss."
 
Dr Awesome

Dr Awesome

Techsteppin'
Blackdown said:
Dub Police @ FABRICLIVE. Friday 17th December‏

Dub Police are back this week promising the same abundance of clanging beats and deep, dark rollers perfect for those low-centre-of-gravity grooves that dubstep mobs are famous for.

Written by someone who doesnt DJ?
Click to expand...

Or a (very honest) shit DJ.
 
Mr. Tea

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
Isol keeps a deep inside structure. Wide loops go beyond the borders of the first three tracks, so that they seem to grow together to an united piece. Nevertheless, breaking up rhythm makes the boundaries perceptible. In shift I the oscillating loop-universe is kept down on the bottom by a syncopated rhythm: a futuristic Bossa-version! Shift II gets a different, more agile rhythm-figure. A tiny melody-phrase, which becomes more and more intensive, emerges in front of that figure. In this way, an idea, formulated by Einstürzende Neubauten, becomes acoustic reality: »Das Lied schläft in der Maschine« (the song is sleeping in the machine). Clear seems to divide Isol in two segments and it figures as a caesura. The rhythm includes a static noise, giving the track a virulent character. kkun I opens the second part of Isol and is aside from shift II the other great track, refering to the abundant creation and especially the atmosphere. It is a digitized deep-sea-landscape! The idea, to put the voice of a woman in this digital world is very efficient. The rhythm rears up to a pulse beat, on the climax appears a voice of mikroscopic size. kkun II refers to this sphere and grows together with kkun I to an organic-living unit. The mathematical-digital process, presented at the beginning of Isol, is woven into a biomorphic - emotional experience.
 
M

michael

Bring out the vacuum
Mr. Tea said:
Isol keeps a deep inside structure. Wide loops go beyond the borders of the first three tracks, so that they seem to grow together to an united piece. Nevertheless, breaking up rhythm makes the boundaries perceptible. In shift I the oscillating loop-universe is kept down on the bottom by a syncopated rhythm: a futuristic Bossa-version! Shift II gets a different, more agile rhythm-figure. A tiny melody-phrase, which becomes more and more intensive, emerges in front of that figure. In this way, an idea, formulated by Einstürzende Neubauten, becomes acoustic reality: »Das Lied schläft in der Maschine« (the song is sleeping in the machine). Clear seems to divide Isol in two segments and it figures as a caesura. The rhythm includes a static noise, giving the track a virulent character. kkun I opens the second part of Isol and is aside from shift II the other great track, refering to the abundant creation and especially the atmosphere. It is a digitized deep-sea-landscape! The idea, to put the voice of a woman in this digital world is very efficient. The rhythm rears up to a pulse beat, on the climax appears a voice of mikroscopic size. kkun II refers to this sphere and grows together with kkun I to an organic-living unit. The mathematical-digital process, presented at the beginning of Isol, is woven into a biomorphic - emotional experience.
Click to expand...

I was going to say it reads like a German-speaker translated to English. All those compound words and stuff.

But, yeah... Super.
 
B

Blackdown

nexKeysound
"[removed] Records is proud to present one new release by [artist] who turned in a beautifully deep offering called "Easy Rhythms".�� This Ep contains 3 original deephouse tracks building a constant vibe with an emotional feeling. �With a fine progression and the right elements merged to complete an amazing music, will surely make you feel like grooving.� You really don't want to miss this."​
 
M

MatthewH

makes strange noises.
I love phrases like "an emotional feeling". It screams English-as-a-second-language.

Living in a 60% French-speaking city, a lot of my freelance work has been repairing badly translated bios. I had to rework this the other day:

"This album portrays the new vocally-evolved movement of [X]’s creations. Using the human voice as messenger of emotion, [X]’s infectious style has proven itself in this aesthetic blend of all things creative. "

So much potential, yet so far from actually being good.
 
B

Blackdown

nexKeysound
"Here's their first release on [label] since their last one, and as expected, it's rather ridiculous.

Residing in the space between death metal, dubstep, tear-out opera and grunge, it's a mercurial, angry, uplifting ode to demon worship and the dangers that lay therein.

The omnivorous [artist] adds beautiful electric blue and silver shimmerings to the proceedings, catapulting the tune headlong into the outer limits of funk before smashing it face-first into ancestral tribal territory."​

Tear-out opera????? How do you even distort opera enough so it tears????
 
J

joe.dfx

who knows...
why are you lot not INCLUDING the artist & label names!?!

this is a SHAME thread.

they deserve to be outed! ; )
 
nomos

nomos

Administrator
Good at least to see mention of Night Slugs' contribution to the pro-democracy movement.
 
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