Lest this be eclipsed by the Faithless / Fiat adventure (which isn't so badly written, just horrifically misguided?), let it be noted that that's fucking rubbish.
The press release hall of shame thread
- Thread starter Blackdown
- Start date
Lest this be eclipsed by the Faithless / Fiat adventure (which isn't so badly written, just horrifically misguided?), let it be noted that that's fucking rubbish.
john eden
male pale and stale
From PR for "Street Style" book:
"Without the Hipsters, Teddy Boys, Beats, Rockabillies, Rude Boys, Mods,
Surfers, Hippies, Punks, B-Boys, Ravers, Harajuku Girls - and all the other
streetstyle originals – most of us would be left without anything to wear."
*looks down at suit*
"Without the Hipsters, Teddy Boys, Beats, Rockabillies, Rude Boys, Mods,
Surfers, Hippies, Punks, B-Boys, Ravers, Harajuku Girls - and all the other
streetstyle originals – most of us would be left without anything to wear."
*looks down at suit*
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
ok, maybe not the most egregious item on this smorgasbord, but the frequency of lofty expressions in this one is quite funny. especially rate the use of "apropos".
"A culmination of years of work spent refining his sui generis sound, *****’s eagerly awaited debut album is finally here. An artist at ease traversing genre boundaries in search of new auditory frontiers - whether mixing dissected Hip Hop beats or the pulsating flourishes of minimal Techno - this apropos release will cement the foundations laid by previous output and visions whilst expanding his canon to unparalleled limits. As electronic music gradually arcs into a period of unprecedented successes, ***** pits ***** firmly at the forefront of a new wave of artists unafraid to challenge preconceptions of what music can be.
Originally hailing from *****, Essex, and having spent the early part of his career as remixer du jour for the likes of Bloc Party, Health, Telepathe, Little Boots and Simian Mobile Disco, *****’s ascent to the forefront of contemporary electronic music has been steadily meteoric..."
"A culmination of years of work spent refining his sui generis sound, *****’s eagerly awaited debut album is finally here. An artist at ease traversing genre boundaries in search of new auditory frontiers - whether mixing dissected Hip Hop beats or the pulsating flourishes of minimal Techno - this apropos release will cement the foundations laid by previous output and visions whilst expanding his canon to unparalleled limits. As electronic music gradually arcs into a period of unprecedented successes, ***** pits ***** firmly at the forefront of a new wave of artists unafraid to challenge preconceptions of what music can be.
Originally hailing from *****, Essex, and having spent the early part of his career as remixer du jour for the likes of Bloc Party, Health, Telepathe, Little Boots and Simian Mobile Disco, *****’s ascent to the forefront of contemporary electronic music has been steadily meteoric..."
unknown soulja
Wild Horses
Like that one bobbin, i think my favourite bit is 'expanding his canon to unparalleled limits'.
Thought this was pretty decent:
Everyone knows that Hostage is an unstoppable music-making beast of legendary proportions pumping out hit after hit, week in and week out.
The use of both 'beast' and 'legendary' (leg-endary?) in one sentence leaves me in no doubt that this release is meant for LADs.
Thought this was pretty decent:
Everyone knows that Hostage is an unstoppable music-making beast of legendary proportions pumping out hit after hit, week in and week out.
The use of both 'beast' and 'legendary' (leg-endary?) in one sentence leaves me in no doubt that this release is meant for LADs.
Sectionfive
bandwagon house
Take note
DJ Glittersnizz has been rocking the decks since he was barely toilet-trained, when he rifled through his parents’ vast and eclectic record collection and started experimenting with the controls on their old walnut-veneered record player. He grew up in a profoundly musical household, his parents being professional musicians who put him into classical piano and jazz guitar lessons from the moment he had enough motor control in his hands to hold a guitar pick. He is nonetheless a completely self-taught DJ, buying all the necessary gear with money saved up from a part-time job as a dishwasher and learning by bringing a new piece of musical technology home, plugging it in, and pushing all the buttons until something happened. The first record he bought was a now-out-of-print EP of Parliament Funkadelic covering Kraftwerk’s “Calculator.”
He began playing in local bars and clubs in his hometown of Nowheresville, getting his first break when the DJ called in sick at a local pub where he washed dishes. He soon blew up in Nowheresville and began playing in TrendyStateCapital, after he was discovered by Well-ConnectedScenester of the BigCityPartyPromoter crew. He was taken under the wing of EstablishedVeteranDJ1, who took him on tour to Ibiza, Berlin, Tokyo, Santiago, Miami, and some secret techno resort that common tourists don’t know about. He has since enjoyed immense success, blowing up dancefloors across the globe (OK, OK, mostly around TrendyStateCapital) to sold-out crowds. He has shared the decks with the likes of SuperStarDJ1, EstablishedVeteranDJ2, and HotForTheNextMonth3, all of whom played at his afterparties in the swank uptown loft that his parents are TOTALLY not paying for, he swears. He is also a prolific and respected producer, having released two albums and 10 EPs since he got up this morning. His most recent mega-hit track, “My Snizz is Glittery,” has been charted by every single fucking DJ listed on Resident Advisor and Discogs combined, with support from all the leading DJs signed to any label that ever mattered—plus his grandma.
Glittersnizz’s musical style reflects his eclectic influences—from high-modernist integral serialism to jazz-funk fusion to Armenian epic poetry to 80s hair metal—all distilled down to pure, crystalline minimal techno. He’s not limited to minimal techno, instead combining disco, dubstep, clickpop, glitch, and progressive house to create a new sound that the entire staff of Pitchfork has been trying to name for the last year (the senior what-is-this-electronica-crap editor suggested “jigglestep” and then resigned in shame).
DJ Glittersnizz has been rocking the decks since he was barely toilet-trained, when he rifled through his parents’ vast and eclectic record collection and started experimenting with the controls on their old walnut-veneered record player. He grew up in a profoundly musical household, his parents being professional musicians who put him into classical piano and jazz guitar lessons from the moment he had enough motor control in his hands to hold a guitar pick. He is nonetheless a completely self-taught DJ, buying all the necessary gear with money saved up from a part-time job as a dishwasher and learning by bringing a new piece of musical technology home, plugging it in, and pushing all the buttons until something happened. The first record he bought was a now-out-of-print EP of Parliament Funkadelic covering Kraftwerk’s “Calculator.”
He began playing in local bars and clubs in his hometown of Nowheresville, getting his first break when the DJ called in sick at a local pub where he washed dishes. He soon blew up in Nowheresville and began playing in TrendyStateCapital, after he was discovered by Well-ConnectedScenester of the BigCityPartyPromoter crew. He was taken under the wing of EstablishedVeteranDJ1, who took him on tour to Ibiza, Berlin, Tokyo, Santiago, Miami, and some secret techno resort that common tourists don’t know about. He has since enjoyed immense success, blowing up dancefloors across the globe (OK, OK, mostly around TrendyStateCapital) to sold-out crowds. He has shared the decks with the likes of SuperStarDJ1, EstablishedVeteranDJ2, and HotForTheNextMonth3, all of whom played at his afterparties in the swank uptown loft that his parents are TOTALLY not paying for, he swears. He is also a prolific and respected producer, having released two albums and 10 EPs since he got up this morning. His most recent mega-hit track, “My Snizz is Glittery,” has been charted by every single fucking DJ listed on Resident Advisor and Discogs combined, with support from all the leading DJs signed to any label that ever mattered—plus his grandma.
Glittersnizz’s musical style reflects his eclectic influences—from high-modernist integral serialism to jazz-funk fusion to Armenian epic poetry to 80s hair metal—all distilled down to pure, crystalline minimal techno. He’s not limited to minimal techno, instead combining disco, dubstep, clickpop, glitch, and progressive house to create a new sound that the entire staff of Pitchfork has been trying to name for the last year (the senior what-is-this-electronica-crap editor suggested “jigglestep” and then resigned in shame).
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Here's something I was wondering: have we gotten far enough with the term "bass music" to be able to use it without quotes in a press release or bio?
I'm tweaking my own bio and while it's a pretty handy catch-all term, if it's not used outside this particular smallish scene, that probably means there needs to be quotes. At this point it kind of looks weird to me either way.
Thoughts, Dissensians?
I'm tweaking my own bio and while it's a pretty handy catch-all term, if it's not used outside this particular smallish scene, that probably means there needs to be quotes. At this point it kind of looks weird to me either way.
Thoughts, Dissensians?
No quotes.
My first contribution to this entertaining thread.
I just received this email:
Source: http://101distribution.com/article/bc0910
I just received this email:
Source: http://101distribution.com/article/bc0910
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john eden
male pale and stale
Thugfucker (Thugfucker Recs, Moodmusic, Music for Freaks)
From the mad genius of one Icelandic security expert and a former American politician turned DJ comes dance music dedicated to the debaucherous worship of all good things that can happen in a dark crowded room with good lighting. With music spanning from house to disco thru techno and over to minimal, Holmar & Greg always bring a mad party vibe that never takes itself too seriously. Seriously.
From the mad genius of one Icelandic security expert and a former American politician turned DJ comes dance music dedicated to the debaucherous worship of all good things that can happen in a dark crowded room with good lighting. With music spanning from house to disco thru techno and over to minimal, Holmar & Greg always bring a mad party vibe that never takes itself too seriously. Seriously.
Dr Awesome
Techsteppin'
Those with such skills sign a Hippocratic-esq oath swearing to never use their powers for evil.
(Also, no, it'd be pretty bloody hard to sift though all the text and just pull out the PR words)
