I'd love to barge into craners Italian movie night, my gut spilling over my England shorts, ashing on the carpet, flicking peanuts at the screen and moaning about "these bloody daygos" and eventually ejecting his criterion collection disc, tossing it over my shoulder and replacing it with the fellowship of the ribf extended edition disc 1 kicking back psssing open a can of strongbow
And here's the twist
Halfway through Craner actually finds he's ENJOYING it.
By the time gandalf is dropping into the chasm craners saying
"And there's two more of these?!"
"Fucking right there is craner call up Barry islands premier coke dealer cos were going on an unexpected journey right now"