The press release hall of shame thread

M

michael

Bring out the vacuum
AJAX

His nickname used to be Thommo, but during the the early nineties it didn't sound very acid house. He didn't like it, he never liked it this boy from OZ. The name tormented him, it undermined his dance party status and his emerging sexuality he thought. At art school the media students teased him and the sculpture students used to steal his mo wax lunchbox and mix clay into his peanut butter sandwiches. He ate them anyway. Art was going to kill him... he needed to fight back... he needed to become an art killer.

After burning his whiteboard markers, his teaching jacket and other assorted art college paraphanalia, his soul surrended. Giggling, the now defunct COFA Lecturer flipped some switches, twiddled knobs and took any excess clay he found to his new spinning wheels. The abject lump of clay soon became a fragmented mess of dried up mud, dust and spilt candy glazes. It wasn't an idealized form, there was shit everywhere but he loved it. Thommo had become a disco Jockey...Thommo had become Ajax.
Ajax made friends fast, although the dancefloor still wasn't sure of his technique. So he and his few new friends created their own studio...The BANG GANG (Modular). Soon the shit noise that they had created spawned a new poetry and it was recorded (Ministry of Sound Mashed 1 2002, Ministry of Sound Mashed 2 Bang Gang Djs 2005, Tiga/Ajax In the Mix 2005 (both cds nominated for DMA Best mixed cd 2006), Ajax Presents Spin City 2006, Light Sound Dance Bang Gang Djs 2007 (Modular) Dance Till Dawn, Damnation, I'm With Bang Gang, Bang Gang K-Lassics and Bang Gang Art Killers 1).
Technics In The Mix No.1 Australian Dj 2007 and 2006, Allen & Heath DMA Best Australian DJ and Best Mixed CD 2006, 3d World Dj of the Year 2002, 2004, 2005, his Art Killing had hit new heights. Busy Ps Best Dj of 2007 (XLR8R), Digitalism's best dj of 2007 (BIGSHOT) and Justice's One to Watch in 2008 (DJ MAGAZINE). Fabric (London) pay him occasionally as do Showcase (Paris) for some spot cleaning, he no longer borrows money from his mum. His ego has spiralled out of control and bent his pop making; remixing Princess Superstar, Midnight Juggernauts, The Emergency, Naive New Beaters, and the Valentinos.

People laughed, some cried... His naked ambition had made him a peep show. Soon the dollar coins started to pile, he climbed them and to his surprise all he could see was clay and dust and glazes in every direction. He was speaking in toungues, a green foam frothed soon from his nostrils and he perspired..... what better he thought than to manipulate his ooze and bring forth (up) his own record label, SWEAT IT OUT (www.myspace.com/sweatitoutmusc)which launched officially in Feburary 2008 with the signings of Gameboy Gamegirl, Miami Horror, Act Yo Age, Hey Now and Redial.

With subscriptions to Modern Painters and Frieze now long expired, the battle for dominance between Ajax and Art continues. With the field wider and the arsenal larger, we expect an explosive and intriguing era ahead.
 
S

Sick Boy

All about pride and egos
Jemzi (grime producer)'s myspace bio is hilarious:

Jemzi is a up and coming, very young, talented, gifted child. He was born in 95 and started his music career in 2006 (year 6), making shit beats. Jemzi had been listening to grime music (first heard of it from his older brother) before he started to produce. He took producing as a joke in year 6 and thought it was something to do just for fun. But later during the year he had people telling him to take it serious and that he would get far if he continued. Jemz was satisfied so he carried on making shit beats. At the age of 11 Jemzi was in year 7 and was satisfied by his level but now (in year 2009) I oviously kno dt I was shit back then. At this stage in year mid year 7 Jemzi was using a copy of Fruity Loops 5. Jemzi's melodies were awful and not satisfactory, but yet he had people encouraging him to carry on.

When Jemzi got to year 8 in school he had made a OK beat. He then fought to himself that all the hard work he had been putting in since year 6-8 had paid off. Jemzi was proud of himself and confident enough to carry on his producers career. Jemzi is now in year 9 at school (2009) and making banging beats at the age of 13. People believe that Jemzi can make it to the top in the years to come. Jemzi uses Fruity Loops 8 with a wide range of VST'S. He can tune the VST'S to something he can think of. He is part of the Beat Creatures Movement (Younger Beat Creatures/Younger Species) & is working with other talented producers such as himself.
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nomos

nomos

Administrator
"& is working with other talented producers such as himself."

right on! keep it in the family.
 
M

michael

Bring out the vacuum
At the age of 11 Jemzi was in year 7 and was satisfied by his level but now (in year 2009) I oviously kno dt I was shit back then.
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Bit obvious, but the ol' slip from 3rd to 1st person is always a goodie.
 
john eden

john eden

male pale and stale
I shit you not:

Yes, we are climbing out of a recession and people are still struggling, but
good things are happening to good people, and this remix is a reflection of
that.
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T

tyranny

Well-known member
raffia said:
lol sort of fits with the album then.
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*zing*



disturbed's sub label mentally disturbed recovers from its heavy hitting cooh ep with a 2 inch with 2 big players within the scene thats core. Hollands own hidden delivers the unseen.. Militant beats rage over this heavy roller which morph into a steady kick monster. You know it had to be done. Harder then the nails of your monther in laws coffin. The b side holds audio remixing the brand new talent donny. Watch out for a medieval beating cause thats just whats gonna happen.. Getting a whipping and a stoning like your the wicked witch of the east...pure bang out business!
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J

joe.dfx

who knows...
"Wolves in the Throne Room is an American black metal band based in Olympia, WA. Their sound is influenced by Scandinavian black metal, doom metal, dark ambient, and folk music. The band has described their sound as “purifying black Metal” or “transformative black metal”, although the band has shown an unwillingness to be restricted by any musical label."

so unwilling they use "metal" 5 times in 3 sentances....
 
Now then…

Now then…

Member
guaranteed to align your chakras!!!
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In what can best be described only in cliché terms, the opening composition "Lounge" is a breath of fresh air. Seriously, take a deep breath. You’re about to be immersed in some of the most melodic and precisely devastating 2-step rhythms you will ever find
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Gently take the vinyl, so as not to scratch it, and place the record with its B-side facing upward. If you’ve done this correctly, you’ll have located Kamal Joory’s Geiomix
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the chopped vocal gently guides the snare and the massive kick to an epic drop that will bring looks of utter disbelief from the guy meditating next to the bins.
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the Geiomix really offers what the original was yearning for. No more wondering. Now you know.
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But please don’t go just yet, because on the remix of one of the most beautiful melodies released on the Dubstep world, Phaeleh steps up and takes a serious crack at Vaccine’s “Atrium”
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http://www.dubstepforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=91437
 
B

Blackdown

nexKeysound
Surface Tension is an outright spammer but nice to see him being charged with crimes against press releases too...
 
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