The press release hall of shame thread
- Thread starter Blackdown
- Start date
"thrival".
hahaha... that's almost as good as "relation-chip"
hmmm maybe it's better? i can not decide.
Tentative Andy
I'm in the Meal Deal
^^ Oh lord, that Surface Tension press release is just pure, unadulterated hilarity. Just took a look back over it and burst out laughing all over again. Cheered me right up that did.
^^ Oh lord, that Surface Tension press release is just pure, unadulterated hilarity. Just took a look back over it and burst out laughing all over again. Cheered me right up that did.
you think that is bad, check out this absolute monstrosity
"Foulplaydubstep once again sets the bar high with the Payin Dues album. With production from producers which hail from all over the globe this album hits hard with anything from club step wobblers, to smash mouth teeth grinding bass, and of course a couple melodic panty wetter’s for the ladies. The top notch tunes from Prodigal son which is one of drum and bass’s amen legends comes hard with two thuggy and grimy tunes (Crack Cocaine/Dun Call the Police), Richie August puts his two sense in with Hustle Baby which will rumble your double 18 cabs to shreds, Substacja’s tune is a remix of one of Prolific’s and a6’s tunes THE TAKOVER which breaks the boundaries of underground hip hop and dub step by bridging the gap, 2mc one of Israel’s top production crews put down the body fluids which is a combination of some wobble and the tough stuff, Digid which is Belgium’s pride brought the absence of light tune which in my personal opinion is the gem of the album and is fucking sicker then aids, Atariwun which hails from Australia his tune FIRE is exactly what is says FIRE a wobbler that will make your dance floor move in synchronous order, Vandal aka his tune is DIM SUM which is another top notch wobbler, all the other tunes you can see for yourself and know that we are continuing to kill people globally. Foulplaydubstep only brings the heat for the fans, for the dj’s, and more importantly the haters. For more information on this release, bio information and upcoming releases visit myspace.com/foulplaydubstep or foulplayrecords.com."
He also says "for know we will give you this gem to feast on"
feasting on gems would surely "smash mouth"?
it's how these guys roll
unknown soulja
Wild Horses
haha, nick ladd, what a bloody bloke!
john eden
male pale and stale
The line-up of films for this year’s event is headlined by the UK premiere on Friday October 2nd of ‘Stick With Me’, a debut drama directed by Bernard Kordieh – a former UEL student, an institution which can also lay claim to having unearthed film director Ken Russell and grime artist Tinchy Stryder.
Unearthed?!
Unearthed?!
Not to mention that they probably didn't mean to say that Bernard Kordieh is "an institution which can..."
Diggedy Derek
Stray Dog
This one from Jori Holkkenen is pretty extraordinary:
Pretty extraordinary, and certainly a bit querulent, not sure if it's shameful though...
hmm, I thought it was kinda fun, B-movie Bruce Campbell style. I doubt they take themselves seriously
^^ Haha, I like this bit:
Withholds?? Yep, keep on holding those prospects back. Don't release them on the 12" or anything.
(Obligatory equivocation: English must be a nightmare if it's not your first language)
The funny thing is that, despite it being a release by Russians on a Belgian label, that little feedback quote was written by Americans!
But yes, English must be a nightmare indeed, and respect to those who grapple with it in order to gift the world with what must surely rank as the most ephemeral of all linguistic undertakings, the promo hype sheet to be inserted in a paper sleeve with a white label record.
I'd be amazed if anyone has ever read the few of them I've ever written in my time, although I'm told one distributor at least is a fan of my work
nochexxx
harco pronting
Oh, and lest we forget, the press release for 'Immaterial' is accompanied by an nsufferably pretentious text from jowly rock critic Paul Morley, which we quote below in full for your amusement/amazement. Fact
/Look/lonelady/brace yourself/because nothing is true and nothing is untrue/for those who look to Warp of Sheffield and outer space and inside their collective head/ for signs of life/noise/and something else/not found somewhere else/listen/this is/for those who want to see these words (the diagram of bones form a geometry of murder)(the world of the inner skull) in a promotional bulletin alerting you to/something else in music/coming your way/the dirty and diseased blank and disjointed clear eyed and cut up/ guitar/and ballardian bass and neu sway and snap cerebral judgements and a ghostly free for all space around the voice and thinking/ where fresh and hidden meanings lurk/ and a change of pace and heavy breathing on the scandalizing surface and ballet drums and crimes of the future and time lapse rhythms and lost and found sounds and the martian moors and the outside of everything/stop/move/I’m told she’s supported wire/I suppose she has/she might also have supported monochrome set patti smith and the bush tetras/she might have been Fac 17/or she might have sung two shows with Section 25 and once met Blue Orchids around the back of a cinema showing Existenz/she might be the love/hate/beat child of a Bunnyman and a Foxx/of a Stipe and a Smith/of a lullaby and a lament/of shadowplay and little Johnny jewel/gertrude stein and elizabeth cotten/the lone ranger and yoko ono/howl and faust and/ I don’t know/I’d like to see some made up details/the music/sounds like a soundtrack to some made up details/she sounds (tense) like she wants your attention/I’m told she has already had a bit of attention/I’m sure she has/from those that give early attention/I’m sure she has a real name/I like the idea she hasn’t/like she really wants us to mind our own business/if I was in charge we’d never know her real name/or lonelady is her real name/or she sold her real name to get the cash to buy her first guitar/which she plays as though it is a deviant instrument/able to traumatize/I naturally think of the flesh and metal guitar of the banshees/mackay and mcgeoch and even smith and carruthers/when the future was filled with guitars that crashed into your senses/because brutalisation had a place in pop/ferocity and secrets too/guitars you like to hear crushed and crammed onto seven inch singles/where they know their place and can cut into your life/so it’s good to know that immaterial is the first of a series of seven inch singles/leading up to a first album/early 2010/produced by guy fixsen who has/I’m told/worked with the breeders/my bloody valentine/stereolab/I’m told these things/so I’m telling you/and she’s a pop singer/and I’m a pop writer/and she’s one to watch/lonelady/but watch your step/end message//paulmorley///151009
/Look/lonelady/brace yourself/because nothing is true and nothing is untrue/for those who look to Warp of Sheffield and outer space and inside their collective head/ for signs of life/noise/and something else/not found somewhere else/listen/this is/for those who want to see these words (the diagram of bones form a geometry of murder)(the world of the inner skull) in a promotional bulletin alerting you to/something else in music/coming your way/the dirty and diseased blank and disjointed clear eyed and cut up/ guitar/and ballardian bass and neu sway and snap cerebral judgements and a ghostly free for all space around the voice and thinking/ where fresh and hidden meanings lurk/ and a change of pace and heavy breathing on the scandalizing surface and ballet drums and crimes of the future and time lapse rhythms and lost and found sounds and the martian moors and the outside of everything/stop/move/I’m told she’s supported wire/I suppose she has/she might also have supported monochrome set patti smith and the bush tetras/she might have been Fac 17/or she might have sung two shows with Section 25 and once met Blue Orchids around the back of a cinema showing Existenz/she might be the love/hate/beat child of a Bunnyman and a Foxx/of a Stipe and a Smith/of a lullaby and a lament/of shadowplay and little Johnny jewel/gertrude stein and elizabeth cotten/the lone ranger and yoko ono/howl and faust and/ I don’t know/I’d like to see some made up details/the music/sounds like a soundtrack to some made up details/she sounds (tense) like she wants your attention/I’m told she has already had a bit of attention/I’m sure she has/from those that give early attention/I’m sure she has a real name/I like the idea she hasn’t/like she really wants us to mind our own business/if I was in charge we’d never know her real name/or lonelady is her real name/or she sold her real name to get the cash to buy her first guitar/which she plays as though it is a deviant instrument/able to traumatize/I naturally think of the flesh and metal guitar of the banshees/mackay and mcgeoch and even smith and carruthers/when the future was filled with guitars that crashed into your senses/because brutalisation had a place in pop/ferocity and secrets too/guitars you like to hear crushed and crammed onto seven inch singles/where they know their place and can cut into your life/so it’s good to know that immaterial is the first of a series of seven inch singles/leading up to a first album/early 2010/produced by guy fixsen who has/I’m told/worked with the breeders/my bloody valentine/stereolab/I’m told these things/so I’m telling you/and she’s a pop singer/and I’m a pop writer/and she’s one to watch/lonelady/but watch your step/end message//paulmorley///151009
