Worst songs you've ever heard?

[Corpsey]

One of the great imponderables of my taste history is how I ever heard "Slam" and thought it was amazing.

 

[Mr. Tea]

It's only compounded by comments like this,

I love the implication that droid commented on a rap tune on YouTube just to remind the world that his truffles are, in fact, pristine.

 

[Corpsey]

it's funny we talk about the submerged sensibility of pop in dissensus cos the rock skeptics are right actually poppy dance music is awash with some of the worst soongs ever written in history.

This is pants, but I did hear a brilliant acid remix of this played by Omar S once. I dunno if it was a remix actually or if he was just playing the vocal over another tune.

 

[pattycakes_]

Who'd have thought we'd ever see dance music made to cause a specific reaction :crylarf:

it's about the approach.

 

[Corpsey]

Describe the approach

 

[Corpsey]

I find Hyph Mango a bit boring after the first drop. It's definitely a weird one cos (for me at least) it fitted more into the dubstep world than the house world, so in that context it sounded a lot more limber. Whereas comparing it to garage, e.g., it sounds like a trudge.

Perhaps that's what Luka finds offensive and gentrifying about it, that it's taken the joyfulness of garage and fastened it to the dubstep death march?

Still think the sample is great, just wish it did a bit more cos it's basically just a loop. The sweetness of it never bothered me.

 

[pattycakes_]

We've been over it ad infinitum in the deconstructed club thread. Idk if we managed to land on a proper definition though. For me it's just as I described in the post. Artificial, chemically sweetened. It tells your brain what to do. Here is a happy chord, here is a soulful vocal, just like in the old tunes that used to make you feel good. One dimensional.

 

[luka]

I didn't mean the tune itself gentrified the dance. Just represents a convenient landmark in that process. I think it's cardboard thin and crappy sounding but I don't think it's inherently evil. Just a symptom and a sign.

 

[luka]

With most of this stuff it's the drums, the rhythms that are the crappiest bit. Same with Burial albeit Burial is a lot more accomplished than this.

 

[Corpsey]

It does sound very basic. Well mixed down but basic. Like it's his first tune ever.

Perhaps that basic-ness explains patty cake's contention that it's artificial sounding, synthetic - and Luka saying it sounds 'thin'.

LIKE BUTTER SPREAD OVER TOO MUCH BREAD

 

[pattycakes_]

It's empty.

 

[Corpsey]

Luka is right about the drums, they're terrible. Jerky.

 

[craner]

Nobody wants you at the party, Ed. End of song.

 

[pattycakes_]

Luka is right about the drums, they're terrible. Jerky.

Brokenbeat feels a bit similar. All the signifiers of funk; swing, syncopation & offbeats but somehow grinding to a halt at the end of each measure. Garage mostly manages to flow better imo. Sometimes suffers the same issue though. I think it's a UK thing, that specific jerkiness. American house and garage almost always flows forward, non stop. Unless its intentionally stopping.

 

[luka]

I wouldn't say it's a uk thing. I agree with Barty when he says the uk is rhythmically vastly more sophisticated than the us as a rule. I think it's specific to that gentrified brand of 'urban' dance music.

 

[luka]

Grinding to a halt at the end of each measure is definitely a good way to describe why a lot of those tunes are so shit though.

 

[pattycakes_]

I wouldn't say it's a uk thing. I agree with Barty when he says the uk is rhythmically vastly more sophisticated than the us as a rule. I think it's specific to that gentrified brand of 'urban' dance music.

In complexity, maybe. But flow is another thing all together. I just know that when it comes to the art of house drum programming, you can't beat the US. It's the hi hats and the snares. Placement. Timing. Dynamics. Sound design. So much finesse. The UK sounds more swaggering when it comes to house and garage drums. Almost like comparing hardcore to choppage. Different level of sophistication. Imo.

 

[luka]

Different feel. Different culture. Different tempo. Different walk.

 

[Mr. Tea]

OK, now here's a powerfully bad song:


The whiny, sub-Placebo vocals. The Nirvana-for-preschoolers hard rock riff. The completely pointless and incongruous record-scratch noises. Just awful.

 

[Corpsey]

The bit I like in that is after each chorus they go

''Oh yeahhhhh! Dirtbayyyyyg!
No, she doesn't know what she's missing"

Incredible riff