Corpsey

call me big papa
Pound writes that when Milton writes

Him who disobeys me disobeys

He is doing an injury to English by trying to make it Latin.

What Milton means is

Who disobeys him, disobeys me.

Obviously I'm with Pound up to now. But then he says that the Latinate version is (though inexcusable) better verse. "The sound is better where the idiom is bad".

I was wondering if it is as obvious to y'all as it is to Pound that the sound is better in the Latinate version cos to me I can't honestly say I can distinguish one "sounding" better than the other. If so, could you explain why the Latin version sounds better?
 

Corpsey

call me big papa
Posted this here because it continues on from my previous post re possibly having a tin ear for poetry.
 

Corpsey

call me big papa
The real issue probably is that I read critics rather than poets

It's like reading a very clever music critic going on about how great (pulling this one out of my ass) Autechre is and then listening to it and being totally unmoved and thinking I don't understand music
 

version

Who loves ya, baby?
I think he's right. It just flows better. It's continuous. The second's stop-start, jerkier. Read them aloud. The second one's more awkward.
 

yyaldrin

in je ogen waait de wind
from "parkland":

Apparent aperture, parent persistence, the sons of the morning light often reach hands to hold, her face in smile outwards. To be safe the day new reflected, both turn to her this way now part clouded; yet darken, she still bright with her inmost fire of care. For them maybe in franchise encampment, clip to the door step permitted eloquence, no grief or pack arrival comedy in forasmuch provision. Now day-level returns into the sky trails, they show gleams diffused along the ridge, furthermost song to set out and learn, oh fully so. Constant reticent but echo syllable goes first ahead, gainful her employ almost visible in ear breath, caramel to travel so sweet. There was no delay in the daylight hour, all forward and previous the narrow rivulet glinting calmly tested.
 

jenks

thread death
Looking at 93’s Not-You tonight. I read somewhere about Prynne’s ‘refusal to signify’ and I think that’s clear here. The title oppositional and intentionally antagonistic - almost not for you. His trick of elliding two registers - the mechanical/ scientific - ‘lithium grease’ with the heightened language of the natural world. It all creates a jarring effect. ‘Last touch gladness’ is striking in its unashamedly poeticism after a run of awkward lines. As someone upthread said he utilises this cascade structure- things are tumbling and we’re trying to catch the edge of meaning before it slips from our hands. But along with that immediate response is very much an imperative to go back/re-read - he snags and stops any form of easy reading. Never lets us fall into the habitual and therefore laziness. Even in syntactical ways - words unmoored from their grammatical functions, nothing certain.

I still can’t say I understand much but there’s enough I do like to keep me reading him - the challenge is akin to abstract painting where I am forced to stop and think rather than just feel and emote ( which I like doing I might add.) faced with something like this it’s more a challenge to process and articulate my reaction to something that is intentionally difficult. And yield, give in to y to he fact I can’t make sense and just enjoy the immersion.
 

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
Not you I think is also a relation to his idea that it is not the I that writes
 

luka

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If you read his essay the poets imaginary he spells it out but it's implicit in the work and it's a sense shared by any halfway serious poet
 
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luka

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The serious and far reaching questions raised by writing is who writes. It has very far reaching implications
 
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luka

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Because it spills out necessarily into who speaks and who thinks and who acts
 
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luka

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So who? What happens when you face the silence which is also the blank page
 

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
The twins blink, hands set to thread out
a dipper cargo with lithium grease enhanced
to break under heat stress. Who knows

what cares arise in double streaks, letting
the door slip to alternative danny boy in-
decision. She’ll cut one hand off to whack

the other same-day retread, leaving its mark
two transfiguration at femur length. Ahead
the twins consult, shade over upon shade.
 
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