ah boy ah fuck here goes nothin
i'll finish reading the thread soon but i just wanted to interject because it's killing me
josh burke in all his aliases feels, to me, the epitome of dematerialisation. the resonant synthesizer noises folding over themselves through a looper, the texture is very much that of the screen and its color is very much lcd blue at night.
inspired school of astral music as well and ofc 0pn's RIFTS.
the emotional content of this specific strain of music reminds me of something
stupidly specific in my life
when i was very young (i'm 20 now, of course i came here through the intro to k-punk's collected writings) the social world of primary and middle school felt inhospitable, alienating. like everyone hated me. i retreated into shit like gaiaonline, newgrounds, nationstates, and hubs for the occult/esoteric on the internet, wikipedia holes without exploring the cited sources [someone much earlier in the thread, maybe blissblog, mentioned not retaining any of the information sought out on the internet?].
this later turned into music phpboards, and rateyourmusic. this, of course, turned into /mu/ [vomits].
soon after, i've been totally captured by facebook, by social media. time away from the internet is now the retreat from the inhospitable, from the alienating, from the vicious. i have nightmares about logging back into my (now 'deactivated', ofc) facebook account and finding it hijacked by someone playing a caricature of everything i hate about myself looking back ages 14-18. and/or my inbox overflowing with spam, and/or with threatening visuals.
i understand this is somewhat different from the way trap/drill/bop production, someone like young thug reflects dematerialisation. i used to be really psyched about that style of production but i now find the youth culture [
or empty 'youth culture'-shaped space?] alienating, frankly fucking scary. i can't quite put my finger on what changed. seeing my nieces, 4 and 6, fixated on their tablets is also scary to me in a way that makes me feel my obsession w the internet must have been, might still be frightening to my folks. i also understand that this post is an embarrassing confession of my personal experience with dematerialisation and not really any kind of attempt at Materialist Analysis, please excuse this. i really will try harder at that tomorrow.
my brain has kind of been rotting since i graduated high school. please send help. or at least just talk ab sky limousine ISAM 0pn skaters etc. w me?