lets kill corpsey

[luka]

haul out the spanker

 

[craner]

@Corpsey have you considered that it’s not that we don’t want to kill you specifically, but that we don’t want to kill anybody?

 

[Leo]

I don't want to see Corpsey dead. The board needs people who post music I never listen to, gush over comic book super hero movies I don't watch, and who never give likes to my posts. Keep up the good work, Corps.

 

[Corpsey]

have you seen bbc north waters starring colin ferrel?

Yep

 

[Corpsey]

This one's quite good too apart from the silly supernatural shit

 

[Corpsey]

 

[luka]

Yep

review it. watch this too @craner @craner @craner @craner @craner @craner @craner

 

[IdleRich]

I believe it was specially designed so that @Corpsey 's agonised screams would go through a pipes shaped so that they emerged sounding like the bellowing of a bull.

I think that a guy designed it and gave it as a present to some king who tested it out by chucking the inventor in and cooking him.

 

[pattycakes_]

Maybe some kazoos stuck on the end of the pipes would add some light comic relief

 

[entertainment]

I think Corpsey would not fight if you were to mount him and begin to strangle him with your hands. He would lie there immobile and look at you with a sulky look of incomprehension. He would let out an endearing little fart and you would be forced to call the whole thing off

 

[luka]

 

[Corpsey]

I must have died and gone to heaven
Cos about quarter past eleven
On a Saturday in 1999
Right across from where I'm standing
On the dance floor she was landing
It was clear that she was from another time
Like some baby Barbarella
With the stars as her umbrella
She asked me if I'd like to magnetize
Do I have to go star-trekking
'Cause it's you I should be checking
So she laser beamed me with her cosmic eyes

 

[WashYourHands]

Don’t Stop Relieving by Journey playing, cut to black screen

 

[Leo]

 

[IdleRich]

I think Corpsey would not fight if you were to mount him and begin to strangle him with your hands. He would lie there immobile and look at you with a sulky look of incomprehension. He would let out an endearing little fart and you would be forced to call the whole thing off

I don't agree, I think at a certain point he would snap completely; a lifetime of being taunted mercilessly by sneering bullies such as Luka - dancing and smirking effortlessly out of reach as they landed blow after vicious blow on his psyche - a lifetime of shrugging it off and laughing along as though it didn't hurt, as though it didn't cut him to the very quick - and now this? Someone trying to kill him! The final straw.

I think it would all burst out in a frenzied explosion of almost unimaginable savagery. If a human fights a chimpanzee, the main difference between them is not the extra strength of the monkey but the way that it is instantly fighting to kill with everything it has - they use teeth and claws and attack the face, genitals, hands (I've seen a few pictures of people after a chimpanzee attack and they are normally missing a hand or two).

Similarly I imagine that if someone did try to kill Jack with their bare hands by strangling him they would get a nasty shock. As they approached lazily expecting little resistance Jack would charge towards them, leaping forward, face contorted beyond all recognition into a bestial mask of hatred that is a twisted mockery of the genial smile we have grown used to. Teeth sinking into his enemy's cheek, ear, throat or whatever, grasping hands seeking windpipe or testicles - anything soft and vulnerable - pointed shoes kicking repeatedly at shin, kneecap or balls, an overwhelming swarm of an attack that completely engulfs his opponent in pain.

Finally when the red mist clears, our hero would find himself holding a sickeningly twisted and broken rag doll. Limbs smashed and limp, the remnants of what had once been a face the only way to tell which part of the caved in skull was the front as it had twisted round several times on the - almost chewed right through - neck.

An onlooker - perhaps someone unable to look away as the horrific spectacle unfolded - would be surprised to see the venomous hatred with which Corpsey still shook this piece of bloody detritus which had once been a man, screaming "Let's see you write poetry now cunt".

I imagine something a bit like that anyhow.

 

[john eden]

Corpsey will outlive us all. Or at the very least, me and @Leo

 

[pattycakes_]

I don't agree, I think at a certain point he would snap completely; a lifetime of being taunted mercilessly by sneering bullies such as Luka - dancing and smirking effortlessly out of reach as they landed blow after vicious blow on his psyche - a lifetime of shrugging it off and laughing along as though it didn't hurt, as though it didn't cut him to the very quick - and now this? Someone trying to kill him! The final straw.

I think it would all burst out in a frenzied explosion of almost unimaginable savagery. If a human fights a chimpanzee, the main difference between them is not the extra strength of the monkey but the way that it is instantly fighting to kill with everything it has - they use teeth and claws and attack the face, genitals, hands (I've seen a few pictures of people after a chimpanzee attack and they are normally missing a hand or two).

Similarly I imagine that if someone did try to kill Jack with their bare hands by strangling him they would get a nasty shock. As they approached lazily expecting little resistance Jack would charge towards them, leaping forward, face contorted beyond all recognition into a bestial mask of hatred that is a twisted mockery of the genial smile we have grown used to. Teeth sinking into his enemy's cheek, ear, throat or whatever, grasping hands seeking windpipe or testicles - anything soft and vulnerable - pointed shoes kicking repeatedly at shin, kneecap or balls, an overwhelming swarm of an attack that completely engulfs his opponent in pain.

Finally when the red mist clears, our hero would find himself holding a sickeningly twisted and broken rag doll. Limbs smashed and limp, the remnants of what had once been a face the only way to tell which part of the caved in skull was the front as it had twisted round several times on the - almost chewed right through - neck.

An onlooker - perhaps someone unable to look away as the horrific spectacle unfolded - would be surprised to see the venomous hatred with which Corpsey still shook this piece of bloody detritus which had once been a man, screaming "Let's see you write poetry now cunt".

I imagine something a bit like that anyhow.

Don't forget the ceremonial pissing on the ragged remains

 

[Clinamenic]

An onlooker - perhaps someone unable to look away as the horrific spectacle unfolded - would be surprised to see the venomous hatred with which Corpsey still shook this piece of bloody detritus which had once been a man, screaming "Let's see you write poetry now, you six-foot cunt".

I imagine something a bit like that anyhow.

Just a brief but critical revision at the end here.

 

[IdleRich]

Don't forget the ceremonial pissing on the ragged remains

Come off it, he's not an animal

 

[WashYourHands]

Bbq then, a holy host for transubstantiation