BAD PUNS: Breaking News, Lies, Gossip, etc

mos dan

fact music
Inspired by the Ace of Bass puns in the 'Dub Scale' thread. Post your punning shop names (e.g. Hair Apparent - barbers, Cheeses of Nazareth - self explanatory though I think apocryphal), anecdotal puns, or any other pun-related news. Ahem.

Here's a web page that resulted from a pub discussion about silly film ideas that.. well, you'll get the idea. Here's a couple of my favs:

'Qaddafi, Duck!'

Muammar Abu Minyar al-Qaddafi (voiced by Chuck Jones) vainly strives to lead Libya to Islamic Socialism, but his every attempt is thwarted by hilarious cunning schemes of a cartoon rabbit paramilitarist.

'Bungle Jew Ghee'

A group of mildly dyspraxic rabbis are sent to live in the jungle, where they compete in a Soul Train style dance-off once a week. The dance floor is coated in clarified indian butter to make their task more challenging. The worst dancer is voted off for ‘bungle’-ing.

Presented by Bungle the Bear off Rainbow with music by hard rock band Mr Bungle, who cover Hava Nagila as the theme tune. Many of the presenters are afflicted with spoonerism.

One token semi-serious discussion point if you want it:

*What's the difference between a good and a bad pun? Aren't they the same thing?

noel emits

a wonderful wooden reason
i love puns, especially when they are simultaneously incredibly dumb and kind of clever, maybe that's what they always are. Actually my user name here is a particularly bad one in itself :eek:

Chinese takeaway in Brighton = Brighton Wok.

Brighton is full of bad shop punz - I'll have to go on a reconnoiter.

Everyone knows Grate Fires Of London?

noel emits

a wonderful wooden reason
OK let's get this out of the way - how many Fish & Chip shops are called The Codfather? Gets em everytime.

Looks like Aire Guitars have their own website.

And there's a book:

matt b

Indexing all opinion
a chipshop in otley, birthplace of thomas chippendale and on edge of yorkshire dales.


My fave in Deptford was Fishcoteque. There's also a PVC shop in Portsmouth called Oh My Goth.

There was a balloon shop in Dunstable called Blow Jobs, just vile and tacky. Unsurprisingly they went bust.

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
I'm sure I've seen a Grate Expectations. Possibly in East Finchley.

We could make a Crap Pun Map of London.

Mitchell and Webb have a funny sketch about a group of people setting up a dry cleaning business and trying to think up a name - they end up settling on 'Touching Cloth'.

Edit: on the importance of a good name for a business...


Well-known member
ive seen a tanning place called tan fastic

im sure there are a fair amount more near-ish to where i live, but i cant for the life of me think of them atm.

simon silverdollar

there was a laundry service business in the town where i grew up called 'ironing maidens'. and their logo was done in the iron maiden font.

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
There's an Amazing Grates around there - I walked past it today.
THAT'S the one! There must be a Grate Expectations somewhere, too. There has to be.

Erm, confectioners called Choc And Awe, anyone? ;)
Edit: I heard about a camping/outdoor supplies type shop that was seen with a sign in the window saying "Now is the winter of our discount tents". Puntastic.
Last edited:


I don’t even understand a fourth of these, but «Abrakebabra» is a good one. Is it just me or is the phrase «no pun intended» overused and slightly annoying? There has got be a religious bar somewhere with some spirits/spirit combo.


They love puns in Quebec. Montreal is full of pun shops like Futon D'or. "D'or" means golden but sounds like the french for sleep (dor, dormir). One of my favourites is Frites Alors!, a chip (frites) shop that plays on the phrase "Zut Alors!" which is sort of like saying dammit.