Funny stories about the SWP

martin

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Anyone got any? Come on all you students, there must be SWP members on your campuses. Tell us what they're up to these days.
 

STN

sou'wester
I once had a job selling Guardians when someone came and asked me for directions to the SWP meeting, I advised her to buy a Guardian as it was a champagne socialist's paper and she berated me.

I also saw an SWP speaker get egged at some silly function or other. It was by an anarchist who shouted some unintelligible garbage then got chucked out.

Obviously I've got loads of hiiiiiiiilarious quips that I make on the way to various rumbles, often they're about middle-class folk. Imagine!
 

STN

sou'wester
At the other end of the spectrum, a journalist I know was once interviewing a BNP member who pointed at his shorthand notes and asked 'is that Hebrew?'
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
At the other end of the spectrum, a journalist I know was once interviewing a BNP member who pointed at his shorthand notes and asked 'is that Hebrew?'

Ironically, the journalist took offence because he was a former concentration-camp guard. :D
 

martin

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There was the time they organised loads of coaches down to London for some conference, and about 40 girls took advantage of the free transport to go shopping in the West End. Cue loads of irate SWPers running from coach to coach, yelling "Keep the bitches out, they can make their own way back home!" at the drivers.
 

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
There was the time they organised loads of coaches down to London for some conference, and about 40 girls took advantage of the free transport to go shopping in the West End. Cue loads of irate SWPers running from coach to coach, yelling "Keep the bitches out, they can make their own way back home!" at the drivers.

That's hilarious.

"SWP In Nightmare Retail Harpy Deception".
 

benjybars

village elder.
hmm.. dunno about this thread... my mum's been a SWP member for well over 20 years and i basically grew up in meetings, rallies and demonstrations surrounded by SWP!

i've never joined myself, mainly cos i'm a lazy bastard who finds the idea of trying to organise stuff to be extremely long, but i've definitely had enough involvement in left-wing politics to hear pretty much every SWP story going. But as far as i can see these stories never ring true.. for sure the SWP has definitely got more than it's fair share of idiots, eccentrics and downright boring members but i've never met any that are malicious, scheming or (overly) petty. I've also met some ridiculously safe, intelligent people from the SWP.

Having said that it's always nice to hear a good story so carry on! ;)

(also, Tony Cliff (one of the founding members) was the best speaker I've ever seen)
 

crackerjack

Well-known member
There was the time they organised loads of coaches down to London for some conference, and about 40 girls took advantage of the free transport to go shopping in the West End. Cue loads of irate SWPers running from coach to coach, yelling "Keep the bitches out, they can make their own way back home!" at the drivers.

So did they hate them for being splitters, shoppers or some combination of the two (a splopper?)?
 

martin

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Not really SWP, but I know of a red whose girlfriend discovered he'd been emailing Shakespearean love sonnets to a number of girls in the party (I swear, I'm not making this up) - she turned up at one of their meetings in Camden and punched him in the face, in full view of all the drinkers in the pub.

So what was it like growing up within an SWP environment, Benjy? Be honest - did you ever use an ANL badge to pull?
 
S

simon silverdollar

Guest
not a particularly funny story, but perhaps an indicative one:

around 2003 i was involved with anti-war stuff at uni, and there were these interminable meetings on 'procedure' (i.e, basically how the meetings were structured, in terms of voting rules and so on...) that tended to end up as slanging matches between anarchists and the SWP lot...

when i naively asked one of the anarchists why we couldn't just focus on the practical stuff, like, y'know, booking a coach to go down to London for the demos, he answered something like, 'We just can't trust the SWP- when their revolution comes and they get power, the anarchists will be first up against the wall'. like they really thought their lives were in danger come the inevitable victory of the swp.

for fuck's sake. a lot of it in student-circles really is just play-acting for people who've got way too much time on their hands.
 

martin

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We should open up a second front - "Funny stories about anarchists". There's tonnes of hilarious stories about Class War, and you'd be amazed how many of these anarcho types actually had yearly London Transport passes and extremely generous parental benefactors. SWPers REALLY hate Class War for not being rigorous or serious enough don't they?

However, one of the most stupid things I ever saw was an anarchist 'publication' called 'Trotwatch', which slagged off every single left-wing organisation in the US and UK, in alphabetical order. Seeing as Combat 18 were publishing 'Redwatch' at the time, it wasn't the smartest move.
 

Gabba Flamenco Crossover

High Sierra Skullfuck
Someone I knew at uni was organising the freshers fair and gave the SWP an extra bit of space around their stand "in case you need to have a schism halfway through" - it didn't go down well.
 

Grievous Angel

Beast of Burden
When I was at college, the guy who ran the student SWP in Sheffield, and the woman who ran the Young Conservatives, were a couple.

They lived in a shared house with my (then) girlfriend (now wife).

He was quite a nice bloke for a politico and was heavily into axelotles. She was a goth, he was a mess.

I just asked my wife why they got together - she said "because he was an idiot".

Funny old world etc.
 

matt b

Indexing all opinion
sometimes you see members of the SWP attempting to sell newspapers in city centres.

lol.
 

STN

sou'wester
sometimes you see members of the SWP attempting to sell newspapers in city centres.

lol.

Try selling the fucking Guardian. This was the middle of Bristol's University precinct mind 'ahaw-haw-haw, I'll buy one to keep the rain off!'
 

mos dan

fact music
However, one of the most stupid things I ever saw was an anarchist 'publication' called 'Trotwatch', which slagged off every single left-wing organisation in the US and UK, in alphabetical order.

haha! what kind of control freak-y anarchists were these??

love the story about the freshers' fair too..
 
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