The press release hall of shame thread

V

viktorvaughn

Well-known member
a photogrophers blurb


A creative flow that defines a soul. I stare at the world, beset by its beauty. I capture that, share that, highlight it for times sake.

The world has been my place of work. Shots and scenes captured in Kuala Lumpur, Indonesia, the far traces of Hong Kong. From Cambodian quaint to rural homelands.

The falling of tears, the joy found to a smile. Inspiration, sentences spoken with a loss of words.

To find, to see, to bare witness to. To know of it, to hold on to that profound wonder.

This is my philosophy.

Each print comes as a labour of my love. Each shot in some way speaks to my soul.

To you, the collector, I pass this on. I share a little of this with you.

My work is my pride, and its quality is something that I will not compromise on. From lens to print, photographer to collector, from me to you. Each product you order adheres to these highest of standards, highest of qualities.
 
S

Soraya

Member
not exactly a press release but this made me laugh an awful lot:

title: free download
subject: Free download, hope you like is Future Dancehall for the danceflooor

and i got this one yesterday too:
title: MAKE THIS YOUR NEXT SONIC MOVE
subject: __ is the new sonic move by Detroit native __ and is the first leak off of his upcoming project ___. Hip Hop. Dubstep. Perfectly blended and intertwined into a party anthem that will be cherished and blasted at high volume by only the most hardcore party animals and drunken disorderlies. Produced by __ with cuts from DJ __. Hear. Hard and Clear. If the essence of an epic frat party complete with keg stands, half-naked girls, and empty bottles could be captured on a track, then this would be the product. Jump on board on the next big thing before you see him on magazine covers and wonder to yourself, “I shouldn’t have slept on that guy”.
attached: a picture of the artist photoshopped onto a jägermeister logo
 
S

Sick Boy

All about pride and egos
Haha if that isn't lifted straight from every corporate marketing meeting in the world, I don't know what is.

Hip hop. (picture of black guy on overhead projector)
Dubstep. (picture of white guy)
[Insert name of artist with picture of his face (he's a white guy too)].

SYNERGY.
 
B

Blackdown

nexKeysound
This has got to be the ultimate comeback to a Press Release of shame i've seen...

Mary:

Let me give you a few helpful tips here for effective blog PR.

1 - first of all. Don't send an e-mail to hundreds of people and list all their e-mail addresses in the "to" box cause then everyone can take the e-mail addresses and use them for spam lists.

2 - don't send me super shit songs like this. Honestly - there are tons of amazing new artists out there doing interesting new work. Yet this song and artist obviously is nothing more than a money making venture that completely lacks any originality. Every single feature of the video and song is a derivation of something done a million times before and much better. It's almost amazing solely for the fact that it looks like it was done ironically as an imitation of shitness.

3 - question your whole raison d'etre. If you're living in LA providing PR for this kind of stuff is this really where you want your life to be heading? I would suggest in a few years this will not give you satisfaction. You should move to a country or city where there is all kinds of new work being done by people the world is not watching, such as maybe Moscow. Or Bombay. Then go through some soul searching and build an empire of people who are taking music as art in a direction that society needs.

Let me know how it goes.
Click to expand...
 
nomos

nomos

Administrator
Undoubtedly the most well know female for Dubstep and now bass music in the States, ******* attributes her love affair with music early; at the age of 7, she compiled her first mixtapes, inadvertently on the path towards creating her own music one day.
 
computer_rock

computer_rock

Well-known member
nomos said:
Undoubtedly the most well know female for Dubstep and now bass music in the States, ******* attributes her love affair with music early; at the age of 7, she compiled her first mixtapes, inadvertently on the path towards creating her own music one day.
Click to expand...

how hard is it to proof read one (admittedly overlong long) sentence?

edit -ok I read the rest of it and i can't believe whoever wrote it is a native english speaker
 
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Sectionfive

Sectionfive

bandwagon house
Every ***** tune is a guaranteed stomper/facemelter/belter whatever you want to call it

mind boggling visuals that will make you want to pull your eyes out... In a good way!

Yes, its a dubstep gig.
 
R

rrrivero

Well-known member
From the local dubstep scene

***** is an active Dj from Helsinki area. He started spinning vinyls almost 3 years ago with Hip Hop/Scratch vinyls but after half year fell in love with oldschool Dubstep and has been playing the genre ever since. ***** like his beats to be chill, dark and minimal or even a facemelting hardcore sound. The facemelting music will probably be the one he`s bringing to *****
 
B

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
"An emotional day as our summer concludes (sob). But not before PENDULUM hit the main stage, performing that sought after closing set. Expect a jaw dropping manipulation of beats, uniting all genres as one."

The last clause is a classic. i think I snorted out water thorugh my nose.
 
D

Damien

Well-known member
I wrote this myself, about myself

Capo Ultra regresses from futuristic Juke endeavours to embark on a single minded quest to initiate involuntary body movement armed with but a simple mantra: drop the tempo, increase the groove.


That's what happens when I get asked to write my own blurb at 4 in the morning when I am boxed off my face
 
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