stelfox

Beast of Burden
the relatively recent tendency in england for food to be both ridiculously flouncy and still not very good. cf the organic herbed cheddar, onion marmalade and rocket ciabatta sandwich i was forced to buy in kensington the other day when what i really wanted was an unfussy, mouth-burningly mature cheddar cheese and branston pickle crusty roll, but the shop had none of the required components.
i blame this on jamie oliver.
(don't ask what i was doing in kensington. it will only make you think less of me.)
come to think of it, the person who invented ciabatta can eat a gargantuan helping of dick as far as i'm concerned.
the above annoyance applies especially to crisps. no, i do not want sea salt and balsamic vinegar, sour cream and chive or any other stupid middle-class corruption of a tried and tested, classic flavour. now kindly go fuck yourselves.
a further note to fancy crisp manufacturers: TAKE THE BASTARD SKINS OFF THEM AND COOK THEM UNTIL THEY ARE CRISP, NOT LIKE SHARDS OF BLOODY GLASS, THANK YOU.
people who think that complaining constantly about music makes them sound knowledgeable.
north american girlfriends who look at you like you are somehow backward when you use a word like "butty" or try to explain why black pudding, mushy peas, real ale, cricket and grime are actually good things.
vegetarians.
having to fight the reflex to get my cigarettes out when i sit down in a pub.
posh people who talk loudly and in florid detail about the correct method of slicing the top off a bottle of champagne with a sword - especially at 7am when you've just got into work.
miserable cunts who moan about stupid shit that doesn't matter.
unnecessary foul language.
oh, and before i forget, anyone who uses the word "chav" deserves to get a kicking at any time of day, whether the people doing the kicking are drunk or not.
 
Last edited:

swears

preppy-kei
People that fart on a crowded train and then you have to sit there and inhale the noxious odour, eyes watering, and you can only guess which fucker did it. The old dear? The burly construcion worker? the greasy middle manager with the combover? Can't these bastards hold it in? We all need a trump at inopportune moments, but really...
 

Slothrop

Tight but Polite
the relatively recent tendency in england for food to be both ridiculously flouncy and still not very good. cf the organic herbed cheddar, onion marmalade and rocket ciabatta sandwich i was forced to buy in kensington the other day when what i really wanted was an unfussy, mouth-burningly mature cheddar cheese and branston pickle crusty roll, but the shop had none of the required components.
You know you pay an extra 50p for every adjective they use to describe it? Plus a pound for 'organic'.

On a similar theme, it really pisses me off when restaurant or (more often) gastropub menus give you five lines with every detail of every element of the meal, as if it makes a great difference to your decision precisely what the components of the dressing for the side salad are. And you don't need to tell me the breed and origin of the sheep from which my chop is coming, I'd like to be able to assume that your chef is capable of picking a decent lump of meat himself.
the above annoyance applies especially to crisps. no, i do not want sea salt and balsamic vinegar, sour cream and chive or any other stupid middle-class corruption of a tried and tested, classic flavour. now kindly go fuck yourselves.
a further note to fancy crisp manufacturers: TAKE THE BASTARD SKINS OFF THEM AND COOK THEM UNTIL THEY ARE CRISP, NOT LIKE SHARDS OF BLOODY GLASS, THANK YOU.
As a paid up member of the sundried tomato eating classes, I'd like to cosign that one too. Give me a packet of Walkers or (if I'm splashing out) McCoys any day.
 

swears

preppy-kei
people who think that complaining constantly about music makes them sound knowledgeable.

The state of music at the moment isn't exactly favouring those who would like to see some innovation, or even a bit of flair and imagination. Those who actually value music should be pushing for something a bit more vibrant and involved right now. You wouldn't like to see the music you love reach more people?
 

stelfox

Beast of Burden
The state of music at the moment isn't exactly favouring those who would like to see some innovation, or even a bit of flair and imagination. Those who actually value music should be pushing for something a bit more vibrant and involved right now. You wouldn't like to see the music you love reach more people?

the music really love is already listened to by millions of of people and is in pretty good health, so this doesn't really apply
 

Martin Dust

Techno Zen Master
On a similar theme, it really pisses me off when restaurant or (more often) gastropub menus give you five lines with every detail of every element of the meal, as if it makes a great difference to your decision precisely what the components of the dressing for the side salad are. And you don't need to tell me the breed and origin of the sheep from which my chop is coming, I'd like to be able to assume that your chef is capable of picking a decent lump of meat himself.

And it all comes out of a box/bag, got a friend who works in one. 12 microwaves and one grill for the steaks.
 

mms

sometimes
flouncy food isn't good food, you're right Dave, and the other thing is why do pubs always paint themselves battle ship grey when they become gastro pubs and start charging double for the fish and hand cut chips plus they always use cod, which is like eating orchids at the moment.

my current bug bear is people who think that anything but unrelenting positiveness and praise, is negative and any criticism, dissent or opinion contrary to the status quo is being disruptive or unhelpful. People who like obedient arselickers and yes men, even if what they do isn't very good. That's truly a bad situation to be in.
 

Slothrop

Tight but Polite
my current bug bear is people who think that anything but unrelenting positiveness and praise, is negative and any criticism, dissent or opinion contrary to the status quo is being disruptive or unhelpful.
Have you been reading Dubstepforum?
 

martin

----
my current bug bear is people who think that anything but unrelenting positiveness and praise, is negative and any criticism, dissent or opinion contrary to the status quo is being disruptive or unhelpful. People who like obedient arselickers and yes men, even if what they do isn't very good. That's truly a bad situation to be in.

Oh yes! Nobody can take criticism anymore. It's a stranglehold of cloying niceness and upbeat masquerading, to disguise the fact that the whole set-up's crumbling to bits. A country run by and for adult babies.

"Mood boards" - if you know what these are, you either want to burn the fucking things down and kill the people who put them together - or you're a twat.
 

mos dan

fact music
A little piece in the Guardian the other day that neatly sums up everything that annoys me about the paper, entitled Are we using too much olive oil?, by Zoe 'Pointless Blitherings' Williams.

spot on. on a similar tip was the g2 cover story a month or so ago that bore the ominous legend

"Revealed: The Truth About Flavoured Water"

christ on a fucking bicycle, who cares? who actually thinks that is a lead feature for a national newspaper?? let alone one worthy of the words 'revealed: the truth about...' like it's serious, vital investigative reporting.
 

STN

sou'wester
people who become incapable of socializing normally with me because I don't drink alcohol.


Does their interaction with you extend to quizzing you as to why you don't drink?

As someone who does drink, I'm more than aware of why people don't.
 
Top