Overheard conversations/monologues

william_kent

william_kent

Well-known member
20 minutes ago - a group of students were walking behind me

guy 1: "Did we not tell you about Blake's flatmate? He used to wank in the communal bathroom - into the sink!"
disgusted girl: "Urggh! Did he not feel ashamed?"
guy 2: "Some people get off on that though"
 
william_kent

william_kent

Well-known member
someone at work was talking about how they might have had some mushrooms while they were at Glastonbury and how Brian Wilson ( formerly from the beach boys) was on stage and he launched into an acapella and suddenly a flock of seagulls circled the stage and flew around but they left as soon as the band kicked back in...

they insisted that everyone else MUST have seen this, but we were a wee bit skeptical
 
Murphy

Murphy

cat malogen
“IF I SEE THAT CUNT AGAIN JAMEH GUNNA BATTER MANDEM MEADOWS PUSSY CLAAAT PROPER, YA LISTEN MEHH!!!”

confused excitable fellow screaming at randoms and prostitutes on the crossroad of Mansfield Rd and Forest Rd, seemed committed enough to his cause
 
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M

martin

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Back in FUCKING PUB OF THE YEAR and two regulars angrily debating Gaza and saying the Troubles weren't that bad really, in comparison...while finding time to crack a joke: two IRA men driving down a street with a bomb in the back seat...one says "What if it goes off before we get to the target?" and the other replies, "It's OK, there's a spare bomb in the boot".
 
william_kent

william_kent

Well-known member
martin said:
Back in FUCKING PUB OF THE YEAR and two regulars angrily debating Gaza and saying the Troubles weren't that bad really, in comparison...while finding time to crack a joke: two IRA men driving down a street with a bomb in the back seat...one says "What if it goes off before we get to the target?" and the other replies, "It's OK, there's a spare bomb in the boot".
Click to expand...

where's the audio to that classic dispute about the tab?

I need to listen to that again

oh

martin said:
Here you go, kicked off at the end: @Murphy might be interested in the amount of the bar bill o_O

Click to expand...



"wot av I drunk?'
"get the fuck out now"
"wot av I drunk? prove a point? wot av I fuckin drunk?"
"three sambucas'
"wot av I drunk?'
"you're barred, fuck off, get the fuck out of my pub, GET..THE..FUCK..OUT..NOW! '
'FUCKING PUB OF THE YEAR! Saturday night!? SATURDAY NIGHT IN THE FUCKING PUB OF THE YEAR! I'm barred from your fucking exciting pub!? 23 pounds, fucking nuffin'"

etc
 
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M

martin

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I think the perpetually angry barmaid in the Arsenal cap is warming to me a bit. She even muttered "Cool" when I said "Cheers" for my fifth Guinness (after blanking me for the first four). She does pour them really well.

UPDATE - holy shit, she just said "Don't rush, you're OK". I'm in the Bridge Tavern lock-in club.
 
yyaldrin

yyaldrin

in je ogen waait de wind
william_kent said:
where's the audio to that classic dispute about the tab?

I need to listen to that again

oh




"wot av I drunk?'
"get the fuck out now"
"wot av I drunk? prove a point? wot av I fuckin drunk?"
"three sambucas'
"wot av I drunk?'
"you're barred, fuck off, get the fuck out of my pub, GET..THE..FUCK..OUT..NOW! '
'FUCKING PUB OF THE YEAR! Saturday night!? SATURDAY NIGHT IN THE FUCKING PUB OF THE YEAR! I'm barred from your fucking exciting pub!? 23 pounds, fucking nuffin'"

etc
Click to expand...
what accent does the lady have? i could hardly distinguish her say "wot av i drunk", i kept hearing "walk on drunk"
 
M

moonsow

Member
One time two people walked past my window back when I was living in a ground floor flat:

Man: I nearly got stabbed, it wasn’t my fault, I was minding my own business, he came out of nowhere.
Woman: When you find Jesus, all your troubles will go away.
Man: I did find Jesus, my sister…
Woman: What’s that to do with Jesus?
Some inaudible mumbling
Man broke off singing away~
 
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