What do I need to know to be a Proper Grown Up?

john eden

male pale and stale
great thread :)

I think part of me has always been a grown up :(

Like with bleeding radiators and fixing stuff - I got given tools by one aunt for my birthday since I was about ten, had my own toolbox when sharing a house with people at college. Ended up doing things like putting a new lock on the front door on a Saturday morning because someone had come back pissed the night before and wrecked it.

In fact I still end up lending tools to another Dissensus poster who will remain nameless on a semi-regular basis :)

Quickest way to become a grown up is to get your girlfriend pregnant and then decide to buy a flat together, in my experience. That forces you to learn the essentials, and the rest you can just blag as you go along.

I survived in football conversations for years by saying that x team "was a bit weak in the midfield" before anyone noticed.
 

john eden

male pale and stale
Also, I still wear trainers and jeans. And t-shirts, but less than I used to.

Paul Meme got me a Shabba Ranks t-shirt for my birthday but I really don't think I can get away with that one.
 

bob effect

somnambulist
great thread :)

I think part of me has always been a grown up :(

Like with bleeding radiators and fixing stuff - I got given tools by one aunt for my birthday since I was about ten, had my own toolbox when sharing a house with people at college. Ended up doing things like putting a new lock on the front door on a Saturday morning because someone had come back pissed the night before and wrecked it.

In fact I still end up lending tools to another Dissensus poster who will remain nameless on a semi-regular basis :)

In addition to that I'd just like to point out any fool can own a hammer or a drill. What sets you apart is when you start buying things like set squares or more than one type of chisel.
 

Numbers

Well-known member
I have to compliment Craner on his excellent list of things that won't make you a grown up. I'd just like to add that buying a house, getting a job, losing a job, buying vintage design furniture (before losing the job), listening exclusively to classical music, switching to jazz, reading lengthy essays on art and literature, doing a PhD, having a longterm relationship, considering photography lessons, frequenting critically acclaimed restaurants or visiting art galleries will equally not turn you magically into an adult being. My final hope is that having children will do the trick. If not, I really give up.
 

bandshell

Grand High Witch
You need at least one "friend" you thoroughly dislike, have known for years and still see semi-regularly.
 

Ulala

Awkward Woodward
You need at least one "friend" you thoroughly dislike, have known for years and still see semi-regularly.

This is true, though I fear I am that "friend" for many people. (And I'd hope for "have little in common with" rather than "thoroughly dislike", but I suspect it's probably an unhappy medium of the two, chiz.) When I do see them I try to be entertainingly drunk and foul-mouthed, so I will at least be memorable if not likeable.

There's an excellent episode of Seinfeld called 'Male Un-bonding' about this, where Jerry tries to 'break up' with a male friend, before concluding that you can't.
 

empty mirror

remember the jackalope
I've got a friend of ten years that I sort of hate. That line Beckett appropriated from the Bible comes to mind: "Habit is the ballast that chains the dog to his vomit."
 

Slothrop

Tight but Polite
PGUs don't seem to be wracked with self-loathing either.

Maybe the really key thing of being a Grown Up is some sort of settling into your identity for the long haul? Losing the feeling that you're constantly blagging it or that you're "only doing [whatever] for a bit until something something something." It's not just having a house and a job, but also not being constantly surprised by that sort of thing... Not to say that grownups can never make big changes but change becomes the exception rather than the rule.
 

Dr Awesome

Techsteppin'
I'm sure there is some "To be a PGU you must first understand there is no PGU" type zen involved here. Then you can transcend by realising that no PGU would consciously think that there is such a thing as "being" a PGU, let alone making a thread about it and acronising* the term...


*New word?
 

you

Well-known member
I'm sure there is some "To be a PGU you must first understand there is no PGU" type zen involved here. Then you can transcend by realising that no PGU would consciously think that there is such a thing as "being" a PGU, let alone making a thread about it and acronising* the term...


*New word?

verbitastic dr, - but then wouldn't that premise lead to the devastating situation of knowing that my pet goldfish qualifies as a PGU yet I do not...?
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
PGUs, if they still take drugs or ever did, have a favourite drug other than weed. (Sorry, luka.) Even if they do still occasionally toke, they find nothing impressive about people who can roll 'impressive' spliffs. Also, they do not have a single particular album, or small set of albums, that they always smoke to.

Appreciating the appeal of good wines, single malt (or good brandy, whatever) and proper cocktails vs. the appeal of drugs is an important part of becoming a PGU, I think.

You need at least one brown item of clothing.

I have a friend whose wardrobe appears to consist mainly of brown. It suits him very well. On another guy of 30 it might look old-man-ish, but he just looks dapper without being overly affected. I bought a nice brown tweed suit last year, so by this criterion have only just graduated to PGU-dom. :)
 
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grizzleb

Well-known member
Also, they do not have a single particular album, or small set of albums, that they always smoke to.

Fuck, PTA's should be past this last bit. Although all too often I come across people for whom this is the case...*shudder*
 
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