We win Sunday. Complete collapse of the Russian Federation next week. Frustration nuke around Wednesday.
This raises a very important question - will they hit Portugal?
I think I can answer straight off that in terms of strategic military importance Lisbon surely ranks among the lowest in the world, quite possibly the lowest in Europe, and so it is unlikely to be an actual target. The main risk is therefore from nuclear fallout when missiles come raining down on Madrid, Paris and, very sadly, on most of you lot in London town... then again when that happens maybe you should be considered the lucky ones for whom it's all over in a second whereas I'll be eking out a pathetic existence from a ravaged earth, eating my friends to survive and without a reliable source of narcotics to make it slightly more bearable.
That's kind of weird actually now I think about it, in post-apocalyptic films when they are exploring cities desperately looking for food, breaking into every flat and searching them top to bottom, how come they never ever come across the stash of some drug dealer who has been eaten by zombies? That would make a great scene I reckon, if there was a gang of five or six scavengers, amongst the last humans alive, miserably scouring for the odd still edible potato, but instead they find a house absolutely chocka with various delights, ready packaged for selling that weekend but abandoned when the comet made everyone go blind. And of course, despite or even because of the situation they find themselves in, they decide to risk being discovered by the cannibals and throw a party fit for the end of the world, getting heroically, insanely, wankered beyond what they had previously believed possible.
Actually now I come to think of it, I do think there is a zombie film where they find a load of weed and smoke it, and in Yellowjackets the survivors of the plane crash - having recognised that no-one will save them and that with supplies dwindling they will almost certainly not survive the coming winter - get together all the fermented bark juice or whatever it is and throw a fatalistic party for their coming doom. But imagine how much cooler it would be if there was a final desperate celebration in an abandoned London or New York, our heroes throwing quite literally the party to end all parties in the ruins of a once great civilisation... the image of the abandoned monoliths towering above them on all sides, utterly dark and foreboding, the flames from the great conflagration always flickering on the horizon and reflecting off a leaden sky the colour of a television tuned to a dead channel. It would actually be worth thinking up a scenario and then writing and making a whole post-apocalyptic film just to have that scene in it. I would also have to think of some fudge that made it feasible for them to have music at their party. Some just about plausible explanation for being not only a generator but also some sort of sound system and - now really stretching belief - something they could play on it that didn't rely on the internet or computer files.