Mr. Tea
Shub-Niggurath, Please
This thread reminds me about a time I narrowly avoided being mauled by a cougar. I was on a work trip to San Diego a decade ago, and the company had put me and my colleague up in this fairly swank country-club hotel on the outskirts of the city. One evening were having dinner there and this woman came over to us and started talking to us - well, mainly to me - and by talking, I mean coming on to me so hard I'd have to have been Hellen Keller not to pick up on it. She was probably about the age I am now, in good shape and quite attractive, and gave the impression she'd be a great deal of fun in bed. So I'd have been well up for it if not two things. One was that I was already in a relationship with Mrs. Tea by that time; I mentioned this, and it was quite funny to have this woman pawing at my arm and praising me for being so incredibly loyal, like I was displaying the moral fortitude of an early Christian martyr who'd refused to renounce his faith even as the chief torturer warmed up his biggest and best bottom-spike to an angry red glow just because I hadn't fallen penis-first into a woman who'd been flirting with me for five minutes after I'd been away from my girlfriend for a week or so.
But the other thing was that she was sat at a table with this guy who gave every impression of being her partner. He hardly said a word the whole time, and I found him, and the dynamic between him and her, totally unreadable. Maybe he was bi and picking up younger guys for threesomes was their thing, and she was doing the flirting on the basis that I was most likely straight? Maybe he had a cuck fetish and just liked to watch? Maybe they'd had a massive fight earlier, and this was her way of punishing him? Maybe they were working for a Chinese organ harvesting gang, and I was one "Hey, check out this unique perfume, I've got some on my handkerchief..." from waking up in a bathtub full of ice, minus a kidney? I'll never know.
But the other thing was that she was sat at a table with this guy who gave every impression of being her partner. He hardly said a word the whole time, and I found him, and the dynamic between him and her, totally unreadable. Maybe he was bi and picking up younger guys for threesomes was their thing, and she was doing the flirting on the basis that I was most likely straight? Maybe he had a cuck fetish and just liked to watch? Maybe they'd had a massive fight earlier, and this was her way of punishing him? Maybe they were working for a Chinese organ harvesting gang, and I was one "Hey, check out this unique perfume, I've got some on my handkerchief..." from waking up in a bathtub full of ice, minus a kidney? I'll never know.