favourite wiley non-sequiturs


Well-known member
if i slewed you i would never mention your face


(about stormin')

i aint got a winnie the pooh scarf as yet
but i'm getting one


Well-known member
'I'm confused like mixed breed-dogs locked down in the basement' i always found awesome.

and slewing bashy

Ashleys one of those boys who blows his own trumpet
He grew up being a boffin like David Blunkett
If you're looking for Bashy's ship it's gone - cos I sunk it.


'can't test me or skepta
come like achilles and take out hector' or whatever it is exactly.


talking loosely yer that will boost me, your just a big head like chris akabusi


Do not read this.
'can't test me or skepta
come like achilles and take out hector' or whatever it is exactly.

do you really know the meaning of war, try test me get carried out on a stretcher...

''Get to the top, work double hard, wiley'll flop your having a bubble bath''

Benny Bunter

Well-known member
Fuck it, I'm posting the whole thing, its a masterpiece...

Big up msm in the building
Eskiboy 2 6
Tunnel vision volume one
You know who I am
Big up all my roll deep thugs
Boy better know thugs
North south east west
We're doing this thing
Big up everyone inside the uk
Running the show

My names eski if you don't know me
Eski if you don't know me

The way I stay live on the daily's crazy
I get short tempered,
Don't talk, pay me
Turn to the darkside if my days ever get rainy
Drain me? never not maybe
Yeah I do know Jamie
And I know Sadie
Her she's a cool young lady
Back to the way I live daily
Had bare dough but that didn't change me
Yeah I got a daughter
Newborn child but her name aint Amy
I aint got a winne the pooh scarf
But you can bet I'm getting one
So stay away from me
I'll spray three eighths and I'm not even crazy
Not even lately
Don't fuck about cos you can't irate me
Wile out one don't know how to take me
Take out crews on a daily
I said I take out crews on a daily standard
I done the dance more than your whole gang could
I swing through man just like flowdan would
I aint from brentwood, I come from danwood
Straight from man a bad man wood
Stand in flames you could not
Cos you aint from danwood
You're whole plan would flop
If you come across me and got lary, standard
The bars are right they're like scriptures
I'm famous and everybody takes pictures
I had faith since decks and mixers
And you're a non believer
So I can't see you in the distance
Picture the game as a whole
Healthy like the boy better know tee business
J's my witness
I'm a musician ask skepta
Three of us talk
We make a decision
You know me I got good vision
Rude boy listen
Don't f about
There'll be a rude boy missing
When the goons start fishing
I'm a L O N kid
I got the hood snakes hissing
Me, the shotter that you couldn't really see
Made the dream come true after years of wishing
After years of dissing
Years of swinging
I still do the crime and walk
No singing
See the level I'm at, they wanna be at
The brake horse power's like a 20 valve fiat
There aint a club you won't see me at
Cos I'm a street star
Theres no set time I have my tea at
You might see me draw a g at
Hsbc at
canary wharf retail therapy's me all week
shot a key at
28 g at
20 past 3
27 big achiever
E2 weaver
Had the first sega
Blood I emerged out of jungle fever
Volume one creeper
Roman street sweeper
Don't get gash by the hour rudeboy
I get gash by the meter
Wilehouse senior
Them all lean yeah
E3 teacher
UK speaker
L O N preacher
Trinidad bloodline
Eastside thats where I ride
I'm a leader
East London advertise a reader
Redwood bluewood
I'm a light sleeper
Stepney green geezer
Aint had shisha
I know Caroline but I don't know Alisha
I don't really care if either one of them
Done a thing with Josh Perry or Peter
My love for them's nowhere on the meter
Eskidance keeper
Get the weed cheaper
Quantum leaper
The Tottenham high streeter
Eskibeat beater
A star reader
4 times community service breacher
Back to court
Facing jail
Case beater
Robbery, burglary
Dad got nicked cos of me
The police thought I was a phone shop dealer
Back in the day I was a wheeler and dealer
Fly to west where the sky is blue and grass is greener
Paul Smith jeans suit air max typhoon
Tchung gash greeter
Yeah I know Jenny but I don't know Rita
My mum's family comes from Antigua

Eski boy
Shut your mouth

Benny Bunter

Well-known member
...I also love it when he brags about how his school had the tchungest cake and custard (!!!)

Wiley is the funniest man alive.

mos dan

fact music
Cause I'm a street star
There's no set time I have my tea at

i remember blogging about this couplet at the time, i was so.. surprised by it. he is a very witty guy. big ups for posting the whole crash bandicoot lyric, so so good.