A Brooklyn Culture Mafia

[IdleRich]

Born into the world's most tedious place - Didcot - now Shaka is the hippest of New York's hipsters, he is an international playboy AND charity worker! Irritatingly cool and at first glance feckless, he is in fact one of the few genuine do-gooders and a true bleeding heart. An honest and good man in an evil world. From the most boring of beginnings to being at the very centre of all the excitement the world has to offer. Shaka has made it beyond his wildest dreams!

And yet.... and yet as he flits effortlessly from elegant reception to African slum Shaka is pursued relentlessly by the emptiness inside him. Despite his charming manner the easy smile never quite reaches his eyes... eyes which, to those who know how to look, reveal something of the awful truth, a hint of the loneliness that gnaws away at him and which drove him to become this - whatever precisely this is. As soon as he could walk and talk Shaka knew that Didcot couldn't hold him, Oxfordshire could not sate him, he was destined to be a success, a star... something greater than all of these, to achieve this was to be his mission, it was a very simple one, he must become, in all ways, the Greatest! This mission to which he devoted his entire life with a cold burning determination from an early age, a burning determination which took him all the way to the top and consumed everything of worth on the way.

For despite his outward success nothing has ever come close to filling the bottomless hole in his soul. Only Shaka knows what he really is - a sinister faceless chameleon at home everywhere, with a gorgeous mask to fit every location and situation. A simulacrum of a simulacrum, a perfectly observed and constructed monster made of smoothly interlocking surfaces so dazzlingly shiny it's impossible to tell that that is all there is to him. An endlessly appealing recursive nightmare of nothing built on nothing - a recurring loop in which he himself is trapped, for of course those at home everywhere have no home, removing one mask reveals merely another, and below that another... and if we dig down forever all we would uncover is the terrifyingly blank void that lies at the very heart of this infinite russian doll?

Or maybe I'm just jealous and I'm reaching a bit.

 

[Leo]

All because he doesn't tip.

 

[Clinamenic]

And let's not forget that most of his career was spent in the top division in England where he was a part of the Newcastle United team which finished second in the Premier League for two successive seasons under Kevin Keegan's first tenure.

 

[wild greens]

Mid 30s but everyone in his age group has had sex to Massive Attack?

I smell a rat

 

[IdleRich]

And let's not forget that most of his career was spent in the top division in England where he was a part of the Newcastle United team which finished second in the Premier League for two successive seasons under Kevin Keegan's first tenure.

At least one good thing has come of it though... Clinamenic's newfound interest in the beautiful game. Actually, genuine question, do you watch or enjoy any particular team sports Stan?

But think about it, the way Shaka appeared and just sort of inserted himself easily into the dissensus body. Sliding in like a lubed stiletto to quickly become everyone's favourite poster. Either I'm right with my theory above, or, he's just a friendly and genuinely well adjusted nice guy - but I don't think they exist any more do they? If they ever did.

 

[WashYourHands]

@Clinamenic bit of background to Keegan losing it during the Shaka era

 

[Clinamenic]

At least one good thing has come of it though... Clinamenic's newfound interest in the beautiful game. Actually, genuine question, do you watch or enjoy any particular team sports Stan?

But think about it, the way Shaka appeared and just sort of inserted himself easily into the dissensus body. Sliding in like a lubed stiletto to quickly become everyone's favourite poster. Either I'm right with my theory above, or, he's just a friendly and genuinely well adjusted nice guy - but I don't think they exist any more do they? If they ever did.

I used to watch basketball, but for the last seven or eight years I haven’t had almost any interest in sports.

 

[wild greens]

Do you get Premier League Years on american telly

Surely the most important English television of the modern era

 

[Clinamenic]

Do you get Premier League Years on american telly

Surely the most important English television of the modern era

I’d have no idea what Premier League Years meant had I not copy/pasted that bit about Hislop from Wikipedia

 

[IdleRich]

I used to watch basketball, but for the last seven or eight years I haven’t had almost any interest in sports.

Why is that do you think? Did you start enjoying the game less or stop supporting a team, or was it a habit you realised you'd formed for no reason or.. what? The reason I ask is cos I wonder how my relationship with sport works. Or specifically football cos that's the evil, psychotic bitch I can't help loving no matter how many times she betrays me.

I’d have no idea what Premier League Years meant had I not copy/pasted that bit about Hislop from Wikipedia

Oh... such disillusionment!

 

[Clinamenic]

Why is that do you think? Did you start enjoying the game less or stop supporting a team, or was it a habit you realised you'd formed for no reason or.. what? The reason I ask is cos I wonder how my relationship with sport works. Or specifically football cos that's the evil, psychotic bitch I can't help loving no matter how many times she betrays me.



Oh... such disillusionment!

Yeah I realized that I was only really into it because I felt like I needed to be into it, and didn't have much genuine interest beyond that.

 

[IdleRich]

I understand that... sometimes I feel that my relationship is like that, or it ought to be like that and I should be able to see that and rise above it, but then i can't and then I realise it's actually not like that, it's kind of weirdly complicated. Like I don't give a shit about England in almost any way, but in football I really want them to win... I really care about it, and it's totally arbitrary yet the fact that I support them makes the games so much more exciting even though I can see it's fake. Or something.

And there is also something about how much I like playing the game and how that feeds into my watching it, but I don't know how related that is and sometimes they feel like two separate mechanisms that I think are the same cos they have the same name. And there is a

 

[shakahislop]

Born into the world's most tedious place - Didcot - now Shaka is the hippest of New York's hipsters, he is an international playboy AND charity worker! Irritatingly cool and at first glance feckless, he is in fact one of the few genuine do-gooders and a true bleeding heart. An honest and good man in an evil world. From the most boring of beginnings to being at the very centre of all the excitement the world has to offer. Shaka has made it beyond his wildest dreams!

And yet.... and yet as he flits effortlessly from elegant reception to African slum Shaka is pursued relentlessly by the emptiness inside him. Despite his charming manner the easy smile never quite reaches his eyes... eyes which, to those who know how to look, reveal something of the awful truth, a hint of the loneliness that gnaws away at him and which drove him to become this - whatever precisely this is. As soon as he could walk and talk Shaka knew that Didcot couldn't hold him, Oxfordshire could not sate him, he was destined to be a success, a star... something greater than all of these, to achieve this was to be his mission, it was a very simple one, he must become, in all ways, the Greatest! This mission to which he devoted his entire life with a cold burning determination from an early age, a burning determination which took him all to the top and consumed everything of worth on the way.

For despite his outward success nothing has ever come close to filling the bottomless hole in his soul. Only Shaka knows what he really is - a sinister faceless chameleon at home everywhere, with a gorgeous mask to fit every location and situation. A simulacrum of a simulacrum, a perfectly observed and constructed monster made of smoothly interlocking surfaces so dazzlingly shiny it's impossible to tell that that is all there is to him. An endlessly appealing recursive nightmare of nothing built on nothing - a recurring loop in which he himself is trapped, for of course those at home everywhere have no home, removing one mask reveals merely another, and below that another... and if we dig down forever all we would uncover is the terrifyingly blank void that lies at the very heart of this infinite russian doll?

Or maybe I'm just jealous and I'm reaching a bit.

rich there isn't an appropriate emoji reaction icon to respond to this, it needs one that somehow covers a horrified face and a crying with laughter face

 

[shakahislop]

you're all wrong, the whole thing is a creative writing project, someone told me about dissensus on mumsnet

 

[shakahislop]

the ambient thing i referred to above, which was in brooklyn and reasonably cultural mafioso, was a little bit tedious. the guy i actually wanted to see, raphael irissiri, had apparently pulled out a few days ago due to a dispute about who would pay for his backline, which didn't stop me thinking i was watching him until i got home and it came up on his twitter. i'd actually watched someone else, another famous-ish ambient lad called locsil or loscil, i never remember the spelling and obviously it doesn't matter at all because it never, ever comes up in conversation in real life, i'd been planning on leaving before he came on but i accidentally watched him for a full hour and a half.

some girl i'd never heard of was the support, she was great, she just stood there with a static red light for 20 minutes and then a static blue light for 20 minutes, absolutely still and intently staring at her laptop. i think essentially a lot of this ambient wash stuff is more or less the same, i probably got into her because she happened to be on first. it's not dissimilar to getting a massage i think, you stand there and you can't really do anything else so your mind drifts off and goes down all kinds of new tracks, and every now and then you notice something new happening in the music. genuinely think that's quite worthwhile.

the soundsystem was out of this world good (it was at public records), there was a bit where the room was doing a kind of rich springy bass thing that i'd never experienced before. reminded me a bit of the single time i was in a room with a klipshorn.

there was some good hair in the crowd and some nice clothes but some really quite striking farts as well, which while i'm not sure it is a hallmark of the brooklyn culture mafia, i think might be a feature of america at large. it just happens way too much here to be a total coincidence.

 

[shakahislop]

CONDENSED MILK CONDENSED MILK MY SUPM SWEET LIKE CONDENSED MILK

there's a bit on that other spice tune, actually the first thing she says, which is 'pum pum clean so mi take a picture' and while i like the sentiment i'm not sure what to make of it really. it just doesn't seem like something to boast about.

 

[IdleRich]

rich there isn't an appropriate emoji reaction icon to respond to this, it needs one that somehow covers a horrified face and a crying with laughter face

What... kinda like some masks you mean?

Honestly some people are so sensitive... one completely deranged and totally unjustified character assassination and they get all uptight.

Just to make ultra-sure, I hope you take that in the spirit it was intended ie as a stupid joke. I splurge these things out and then I realise that not everyone will see the funny side. Hopefully you will. I hope.

 

[version]

I think I've seen more mentions of Didcot tonight than I've ever seen in my life. Has sufi struck a sponsorship deal with the tourist board?

 

[IdleRich]

there's a bit on that other spice tune, actually the first thing she says, which is 'pum pum clean so mi take a picture' and while i like the sentiment i'm not sure what to make of it really. it just doesn't seem like something to boast about.

Went in a bar today and it had loads of really detailed close up paintings of pum-pums on the wall. Dunno what it means but it seems relevant to mention it in conjunction with the comment above.

 

[shakahislop]

Went in a bar today and it had loads of really detailed close up paintings of pum-pums on the wall. Dunno what it means but it seems relevant to mention it in conjunction with the comment above.

you can read them like tea leaves. like palms. like the movements of the stars. to tell truths about your future.