nomadthethird

more issues than Time mag
I've been doing too many unit conversions. It's 800km, around 500 miles. Not that it matters.

When I lived in a not-too secure place and was going away for quite a while (everyone else in the building had been burgled), I left an upside down pentagram in salt with a note saying 'If you read this, you've been cursed' on it.

I wasn't burgled. Or if I was, they left sharpish.

It kinda helped that my hallway was bright red and had a sculpture of Jesus Christ with his skin flayed off in a corner of it as well I think. Maybe.

This is an excellent idea... I already have large a wooden Mexican god/idol mounted on the wall, and an antique shaman rug of unknown native american origin on another with a picture of a sort of geometrical demon-guy wearing a hat woven into it. Plus, a Green Hornet poster that's got Bruce Lee in S&M (slash "superhero") costume on it, the solubility rules, an orbital diagram key, medieval map, and a vintage periodic table. There's all sorts of drug paraphernalia in my shoe boxes under my bed.

The only thing missing is a pentagram, really.

Buy a cupboard you can lock, and perhaps leave something small in the room like a piece of sellotape that'll be moved if someone's been in there. When my mum was young, she came back home from work early because of a gas leak and found her landlady cooking dinner in her kitchen! She was just "testing the oven" apparently.

No, even worse-- fucking real estate agents! In Bushwick one of my landlords was trying to sell the building, so Corcoran had people coming over every five minutes, the broker had a key, and he'd just WALTZ in whenever he felt like it. After he realized we were not going to clean up anything he stopped showing our unit. But still. So intrusive.
 
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Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
This is an excellent idea... I already have large a wooden Mexican god/idol mounted on the wall, and an antique shaman rug of unknown native american origin on another with a picture of a sort of geometrical demon-guy wearing a hat woven into it. Plus, a Green Hornet poster that's got Bruce Lee in S&M (slash "superhero") costume on it, the solubility rules, an orbital diagram key, medieval map, and a vintage periodic table. There's all sorts of drug paraphernalia in my shoe boxes under my bed.

The only thing missing is a pentagram, really.

Sounds like a great room. You just need a shrunken head and a grimoire bound in human skin.
 
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swears

preppy-kei
I keep my place secure by having nothing worth stealing anyway. Unless a burgular wants a PC from 2004 or some extra small polo shirts from Topman.

Reminds me of a mate who racked up loads of debts at uni and was a total alcoholic. Bayliffs came round to his flat, he let them in and made them a cup of tea. "What'll it be boys? The stained mattress or the broken toaster?" He actually had to hide a bottle of Bell's under the bath, just in case they took it.
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
This is all starting to sound reminiscent of a new short story I'm working on - will let you know when it's up on my blog. There's a teaser already... :cool:
 
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vimothy

yurp
I keep my place secure by having nothing worth stealing anyway. Unless a burgular wants a PC from 2004 or some extra small polo shirts from Topman.

Reminds me of a mate who racked up loads of debts at uni and was a total alcoholic. Bayliffs came round to his flat, he let them in and made them a cup of tea. "What'll it be boys? The stained mattress or the broken toaster?" He actually had to hide a bottle of Bell's under the bath, just in case they took it.

Hahaha. A friend got mugged in town once, and when they finally managed to get his brick sized broken paint splattered phone off him, they turned to him in disgust and shouted, "what the fuck is this mate!?"
 

cobretti

[-] :: [-] ~ [-] :: [-]
Hahaha. A friend got mugged in town once, and when they finally managed to get his brick sized broken paint splattered phone off him, they turned to him in disgust and shouted, "what the fuck is this mate!?"

Hahaha this reminds me of something that happened in Barcelona last summer. A friend of mine who shall remain nameless went out on his tod to find some fags and booze at about 4 in the morning, and being his first visit to Barcelona, he had neither a clue where he was going or how to go about procuring fags and booze at 4am in a foreign city. No sooner is he at the bottom of our apartment's road, than he gets pushed in to a doorway beside a strip club called Baghdad and frisked by two scruffy looking guys. All they found on him was a few euros and a shitty old Sony Ericsson phone, which they promptly handed back to him because it was cracked, stained and taped up to hold the battery in. He's lucky they did as he called one of us shortly after on the brink of tears, lost, with no booze or fags to speak of :D

Also, Nomad, it sounds like your clothes may have a case of the socks syndrome. No matter how carefully you store or wash your socks, they always seem to go missing. My girlfriend's dad washes his in the sink by hand as he's convinced someone or something is making off with them at some point in the washing process. Maybe it's some kind of crazy intercontinental garment stealing ghost?
 

nomadthethird

more issues than Time mag
Hahaha. A friend got mugged in town once, and when they finally managed to get his brick sized broken paint splattered phone off him, they turned to him in disgust and shouted, "what the fuck is this mate!?"

That's another one..why do people steal cell phones? It apparently happens on the subway. At most, the thing cost $200 retail. As soon as you steal it, the person's going to get the service shut off. So all you have is the hardware, which pawns for like $20 max. $40 if it's a blackberry.

Not worth it. I mean maybe to like the most desperate crackhead on earth. But in general not worth it. Unless you spent all day wracking up cell phones.

There was some dude on the J train who used to get up from his seat near a stop, then rip the necklaces off people and run out. I even said to him one time, dude, that's FAKE GOLD...maybe he was just a klepto. But he looked like a crackhead.
 

Martin Dust

Techno Zen Master
strip club called Baghdad and frisked by two scruffy looking guys. All they found on him was a few euros and a shitty old Sony Ericsson phone, which they promptly handed back to him because it was cracked, stained and taped up to hold the battery in. He's lucky they did as he called one of us shortly after on the brink of tears, lost, with no booze or fags to speak of :D

The cops drink in the cafe next to the Bagdad as well.
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
Also, Nomad, it sounds like your clothes may have a case of the socks syndrome. No matter how carefully you store or wash your socks, they always seem to go missing. My girlfriend's dad washes his in the sink by hand as he's convinced someone or something is making off with them at some point in the washing process. Maybe it's some kind of crazy intercontinental garment stealing ghost?

Mystery solved:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sock Eater

eaterofsocks.jpg


A possibly related creature seems to have feasted on my pants recently. :(

Something else that does my head in: a colleague who spells the word 'email', "e: mail". I mean, wtf?
 
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swears

preppy-kei
News websites that refesh themselves automatically but take ages to load again. The Indy is terrible for this.
 

Martin Dust

Techno Zen Master
Yes, it does need to be this loud and yes it is music, now fuck off Mr Ad Campaign Circle Jerk Squash Playing 911 Driving PRICK....
 

Bang Diddley

Well-known member
People who walk around when on a mobile phone. Cant you stand still and talk. Got one hovering around right now. What do you do when you take a call sat at your desk ?

Stand still you fk.
 
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